New Opportunity

I know its been a while since I blogged but I've been super busy lately. There's been a lot of good things going on lately and a lot of not-so-good things occurring as well. Do you want the good news or the bad news first? Since I can't hear your response I'll just pick for you.

The BAD News:
A couple of weeks ago while Angela and I were watching the Olympics our television shut off. Yes, the high definition television we bought brand new with some of our wedding money. We'd only had the TV since we were married which hasn't been very long, although it's felt like a long time. Just kidding, baby! Every time we tried to turn the TV back on it would just click over and over again. Not good.

Also, yesterday my fridge died. Everything in the freezer was a total loss as was the majority of goods in the fridge. So right now we are using my little mini fridge that's only about 2 1/2 feet high.

Along with all that, work has been really really rough lately. I'm not even supposed to touch a single package and all they have me do each day is load, load, load. They hire me to do a job and run my area and the management refuses to listen to my suggestions or give me the resources. I'm just about done with this crap and they can sit on a tack for all I care!

The GOOD News:
Even though my nice TV died I still have the 30 inch TV from our bedroom even if it's not HD. So we're using that one in the living room and our spare 19" in the bedroom. The 19" has not AV plugs, no TV remote, and only 1 cable hookup. At least it works.

And even though the fridge is toast my really cool parents have a spare fridge at their old house that they were gracious enough to let us use. It's really nice, has double doors, an icemaker on the front, and best of all its FREEEEEEEEEE!!! The only pain in the butt thing about it is that I have to go get it and it's really heavy.

Finally, even though I just about flat out hate my job right now, a new, fun, exciting, better paying job seems to be looming in the not so distant distance. My friend Devin's brother Brian does IT work and has offered to train me in the ways of IT. He helped Devin along with many of my friends get really good jobs so this whole week I've been hanging out with him and he's been training me. I'm really excited about it. It's going to be a really great opportunity and Angela and I are both excited. Thanks Devin and Brian! You guys are the bomb!

So even though it seems like a lot of bad stuff has happened lately, God continues to make a way for us! What an awesome God we have!

Get to Know Me!

Here's something my wife did so I decided to follow in her steps and do the same thing. Enjoy!

I am: Angela's really hot husband.

I think: the Jacksonville Jaguars are the best football team in the country!

I know: that I need to spend more time reading God's Word.

I want: be done with school and just work.

I have: really comfortable L.L. Bean slippers on my feet.

I wish: we were more responsible with our money.

I hate: all the dumb people in the world who are so dumb they don't even know it.

I miss: my Papa who died from stomach cancer in Dec. '96.

I fear: for my wife's safety.

I hear: the news on the TV in the living room.

I feel: my head pounding for some reason.

I smell: BBQ chicken cooking in the crock pot!

I crave: Texas Road House steaks.

I search: for a good job so I can take care of my family.

I wonder: what our kids will be like.

I regret: that I don't think everything through before I speak or act.

I love: giving my wife and Baggie kisses!

I ache: after I go to work at UPS.

I care: about taking care of Angela.

I always: watch the Jaguars when they're on TV.

I am not: going to let my kids make the same mistakes I've made.

I believe: in Jesus Christ, the son of God.

I dance: when I'm with my wife and NO ONE ELSE.

I sing: Baby Got Back.

I don’t always: go to class.

I fight: with Angela to take her medicine.

I write: blogs because they make my wife happy.

I win: at Phase 10 way more than Angela does.

I lose: my pens at work alot.

I never: wear make up even if my wife begs me to.

I listen: to Angela when she comes home from work and talks about how much she hates listening to dumb people.

I can usually be found: in bed at 12 a.m.

I am scared: of something bad happening to my family.

I need: to drive slower.

I am happy: that I am married to a woman as hot and sexy as my wife, Angela.

Its just around the corner!

Football season!!!!!

I can't wait. The time between the end of the Superbowl and the first NFL preseason game is so boring! The only thing that makes the last 2 months before preseason starts bearable is that 1010XL Sports Radio actually starts talking about the Jacksonville Jaguars on a regular basis (not just when one of them gets busted for drugs, dui, hit and run, etc), Jaguars minicamp and training camp are open to the public as well and the Jacksonville Jaguars website is updated on a regular basis.

We're at that point right now. The first Jaguars preseason game is Aug. 9th and I am barely holding myself together. During football season I eat, drink, and sleep football. I know my wife will agree. She just loves to talk about football with me, my Dad, and my brother! NOT! Anyways, she's getting better about football though. She understands most of the rules, who the players are (and not just Jaguars players. She even despises the Colt and those cheatin' Pats), and she knows what the point of the game is! She has her own Maurice Jones-Drew jersey that she wears with pride, along with her Jaguars ear rings, hair clip, and visor! I'm very proud of her. She's almost as die hard a Jacksonville Jaguars fan as I am!

After August 9th, I will be one happy camper... unless the Jaguars lose that week. In that case, my day will be ruined and everyone should avoid speaking to me until further notice.

Go Jaguars!!!!

Its all fun and games until someone loses an eye....

Then its just fun! Who doesn't love practical jokes (not counting Osama, Stalin, Hitler and Satan)? I know I do! There's nothing more hilarious than the honestly confused, perplexed, astounded, and/or downright terrified expression on an unsuspecting victim's face. With that said, here's some really funny practical jokes that you can play at your place of work and NOT lose your job. Of course if you are willing to lose your job, you can REALLY take the jokes to the next level!

1. Place a paperclip on the office photocopier and make 100 or so copies of it. Then remove the paperclip and load the papers with the image of the paperclip into the paper tray. Your coworkers/ victims will go nuts trying to find the paperclip inside the copier!

2. If you have an office phone system that allows conference calling, you can prank two people at once. Call the first victim’s extension, then very quickly call the second victim and push the conference button. Now both people will think the other person called them and will begin arguing over who called whom!

3. Take an item from the victim’s office (something they use a lot such as a special coffee cup, stapler, pencil cup, etc.). Take a picture of the item and leave it on the victim’s desk (in the same spot where the item was located), along with a “ransom” note.

4. If the victim uses Microsoft Word, go into the victim’s computer and change the auto-correct feature so it misspells common words. Just open Word, choose “AutoCorrect Options” from the Tools menu, and have it replace common words like “the” and “and” with words like "terd" and "anus". The sky is the limit with this one!

5. Take a Post-It note and place it over the eye of the victim’s optical mouse. When the victim tries to use his or her computer, the cursor won’t move. (Note if they have a standard mouse, you can perform the same trick by taping a piece of paper over the ball underneath the mouse.)

Those are just a few I found. I hope you guys who are lucky enough to work in a posh, climate controlled, cushy chaired, office will have some fun with this.

Disclaimer: I, along with Blogspot, am in no way, shape, or form responsible for any consequences and/or punishments you bring on yourself by attempting any of the above listed practical jokes. Please, however, leave a comment clearly depicting any practical jokes attempted!

I love my wife!

I love my wife! But just how much do I love my wife? Hmmm...Lets see!

I love my wife more than...

peanut butter pickles!
greasy bloated road kill!
Adolph Hitler!
stinky litter boxes!
broken computers!
groin "area" injuries!
wannabe ninjas!
paper cuts!
bee stings on my eye lids!
sand in my mouth!
surprise bills!
the New England Patriots!
and ice cream!

This is just a short list of all the things that are not even close to being loved as much as I love my precious bride, Angela! Angela is nothing short of the best thing that has ever happened to me. She is way out of my league and seems oblivious to the fact that she is stunningly gorgeous and highly intelligent. She does such a good job of taking care of me since I am in a constant state of tiredness. She always has good food for me and doesn't complain when we only go see guy movies, if I forget to vacuum for a week, or when I accidentally buy things we can't afford. She is nothing short of the best wife any man could ever dream of! I love you, babe!

PS. Sorry everyone had to read that mushy blog.

Hoax or No Hoax???

After reading a terrifying story on a friend's blog that tells of a small child being bitten to death by copperhead rattlesnakes in a fast food joint's ball pit, I started investigating other popular internet stories and pictures that people assume are real because they're on the world wide web. After all, people wouldn't post lie on the web, would they? Well it turns out they do. With that said, here's some little tests I found that test your gullibility. After you take the test, post your first score in my comments. No cheating! Here is what I scored:

Level One: 9 out of 10
Level Two: 8 out of 10
Level Three: 6 out of 10
Level Four: 8 out of 10

So here is the test and good luck!

Hoax Text!

All four hoax test links are at the top of the first page.

Its Been a While...

I know its been a ridiculously long time since I posted, but at the nag...I mean encouragement of my wife, here is at least one more post.

Apparently there's this thing called a "meme." Someone tags you for a list of information about you and then you post it on your blog. So my wife tagged me for one of these. In the "meme" I have to post:

1. List your top ten favorite films (in no particular order).
2. If you're tagged, you've got to post & tag 3-5 other people.
3. Give a tag back (some link love) to the one who tagged you in your post
4. Give a hat tip (HT) to Dan.

1)Naming my top ten favorite films will be hard, so I think I'll just give ten films that were freaking awesome.

1. The Matrix
2. Gladiator
3. Saving Private Ryan
4. Braveheart
5. The Last Samurai
6. No Country For Old Men
7. Man on Fire
8. Batman Begins
9. The Departed
10. Shooter

2) I will tag Angela, Dayna, and Stacie because they are the only three people I know who write blogs. If you've already been tagged to do this then instead of listing your top ten movies, you must list your ten favorite movies that your husband also likes to watch.

3) And my tag back love goes to Angela. Check her blog out because its pretty silly just like she is. She's also pretty smokin' hot so go see her blog and a pic or 2 of her if for nothing else.

4) HT to Dan, whoever you are.

There. I'm done with my blog for quarter. Peace.