After being inspired by my lovely wife to write a haiku, I decided to write one about school since finals week is coming up. Enjoy!
Semesters over.
Only one more whole year left.
Man does school suck bad.
There. I hope that brought a tear to your eye as your heart moves with emotion. Thank you.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Man Up!
I'm tired of men who aren't manly. I'm tired of men who are "metrosexual" or whatever in the world that means. Men should be leaders, like God has called them to be, and should stand up for what is right, just, and true. They should be honest and God-fearing and should enjoy things like sports, guns, movies with explosions and/or ninjas, and meat (rare if possible). Also, in no way, shape, or form does the level of hotness of the woman at your side determine if you are a Man's Man. So with that said, I have compiled a list of ways to help you identify men who do not fit the definition of manly men!
1. Manly men only drink tap water. Ordering expensive bottled water at a restauraunt automatically disqualifies you from holding the title of "Manly Man."
2. Manly men do not know what conditioner is.
3. Under NO circumstances should a Manly Man wear make up.
4. A Manly Man will gladly kill to protect his families and/or those he loves.
5. A Manly Man does not use wax on any part of his body (also known as "Manscaping").
6. A Manly Man does not enjoy sports where serious bodily injury is not possible and/or likely.
7. A Manly Man can repair his own vehicle.
8. A Manly Man has no qualms about farting and/or burping in public.
9. A Manly Man always cleans his plate.
10. Meat: the redder, the better.
Anyways, those are just a few I came up with. With that said, the following are a list of men (in no particular order) who I, as a Man's Man, have deemed "Non Manly Men."
1. Matthew Perry
2. Richard Gere
3. Justin Timberlake
4. David Schwimmer
5. Clay Aiken
6. Al Gore
7. Tom Cruise
8. John Kerry
9. Owen Wilson
10. Jude Law
11. Topher Grace
12. Ashton Kutcher
13. Hugh Grant
14. David Spade
15. Matthew McConaughey
16. Johnny Depp
17. Pierce Brosnan
18. Ryan Seacrest
19. Simon Cowell
20. Orlando Bloom
21. John Travolta
It only makes sense to now identify some men who truly are manly men!
1. Clint Eastwood
2. Douglas MacArthur
3. Russell Crowe
4. Arnold Schwarzenegger
5. Ronald Reagan
6. Gregory Peck
7. Denzel Washington
8. Harrison Ford
9. Sean Connery
10. Mel Gibson
11. George S. Patton
12. John Wayne
13. George Washington
14. Steve McQueen
15. Paul Newman
16. Abraham Lincoln
17. Batman
18. Will Smith
19. Bruce Willis
20. Samuel L. Jackson
There. I'm glad I finally got that out in the open for the public to see. I feel like this has probably been my most beneficial-to-the-world posting yet, so I hope you enjoyed it.
1. Manly men only drink tap water. Ordering expensive bottled water at a restauraunt automatically disqualifies you from holding the title of "Manly Man."
2. Manly men do not know what conditioner is.
3. Under NO circumstances should a Manly Man wear make up.
4. A Manly Man will gladly kill to protect his families and/or those he loves.
5. A Manly Man does not use wax on any part of his body (also known as "Manscaping").
6. A Manly Man does not enjoy sports where serious bodily injury is not possible and/or likely.
7. A Manly Man can repair his own vehicle.
8. A Manly Man has no qualms about farting and/or burping in public.
9. A Manly Man always cleans his plate.
10. Meat: the redder, the better.
Anyways, those are just a few I came up with. With that said, the following are a list of men (in no particular order) who I, as a Man's Man, have deemed "Non Manly Men."
1. Matthew Perry
2. Richard Gere
3. Justin Timberlake
4. David Schwimmer
5. Clay Aiken
6. Al Gore
7. Tom Cruise
8. John Kerry
9. Owen Wilson
10. Jude Law
11. Topher Grace
12. Ashton Kutcher
13. Hugh Grant
14. David Spade
15. Matthew McConaughey
16. Johnny Depp
17. Pierce Brosnan
18. Ryan Seacrest
19. Simon Cowell
20. Orlando Bloom
21. John Travolta
It only makes sense to now identify some men who truly are manly men!
1. Clint Eastwood
2. Douglas MacArthur
3. Russell Crowe
4. Arnold Schwarzenegger
5. Ronald Reagan
6. Gregory Peck
7. Denzel Washington
8. Harrison Ford
9. Sean Connery
10. Mel Gibson
11. George S. Patton
12. John Wayne
13. George Washington
14. Steve McQueen
15. Paul Newman
16. Abraham Lincoln
17. Batman
18. Will Smith
19. Bruce Willis
20. Samuel L. Jackson
There. I'm glad I finally got that out in the open for the public to see. I feel like this has probably been my most beneficial-to-the-world posting yet, so I hope you enjoyed it.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Good Times!
I remember the first time I held my wife's hand! What an amazing night it was. I think it may have been our second or third date and I remember that I could already tell that I was really going to like this girl. She was smart, funny, witty, and had a killer body! She was exactly everything I was looking for in a girl. So anyways, there we were, playing putt putt at the local mini golf hot spot. We were on the last hole and my later-to-be-wife was beating me and there was no chance of me coming back. One way or another we ended up agreeing that if I could manage a hole-in-one on the last hole that I would be declared the victor and be the champion of putt putt. Well waddayaknow I made a hole in one! I was the champion! My date reluctantly conceded defeat and we started to make our way back to the car. I'd been dying to hold her hand, touch her elbow, rub her back, anything the whole night! So as we exited the mini golf course I gently slipped my hand into hers, softly grasping her beautiful fingers. It was very exciting and I'll never forget the feelings of anticipation, anxiety, butterflies, and what I later discovered to be love I felt that night. Winning in putt putt was nothing compared to being close to my beautiful, blue-eyed girl. But what I remember even more than that was the hot and steamy make out session that followed in my car! I just couldn't keep her off me! She was like a wild animal! Okay, that last part I made up but a guy can dream, can't he?
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Priority Number One
Are you a good person? Sure, you may say. You don't murder, you don't rape, you're honest most of the time. Thats probably good enough to get you into Heaven after you die. After all, Hell is only for the really bad people and you're not really bad, right? Or is that wrong?
But have you ever told a lie? Have you ever stolen anything, even as a child? Have you ever hurt someone or even thought about hurting someone? Have you ever said a bad word? If you answered yes to any of those questions, you are guilty of sin according to God's law given to humanity in the Bible. Lying, stealing, hurting someone, etc. are all sins. In Romans 6:23 the Bible says that the wages of sin is death. It does not say that wages for sinning a lot is death. It says sin, period. So any sin you commit is payable by death. So according to God's law and word, the Holy Bible, the only payment option you have for any and all sins you have committed is death. There's just no way around it.
God, however, made a way for us sinners to spend eternity in Heaven at his side. God sent his perfect and only son, Jesus Christ, to pay for our sins with his death. When God said that the wages of sin is death, Jesus stepped into our place and essentially said, "I'll accept those wages." God volunteered Jesus to die, paying for all the sins we have committed and will ever commit. The price has been paid. Jesus bought you a one way ticket to Heaven. All you have to do is accept it. It really is that easy. Don't try to rationalize it, analyze it, or break it down. The love Jesus has for us unfathomable. Just accept Jesus Christ as your Savior today and let Him sort out the rest.
But have you ever told a lie? Have you ever stolen anything, even as a child? Have you ever hurt someone or even thought about hurting someone? Have you ever said a bad word? If you answered yes to any of those questions, you are guilty of sin according to God's law given to humanity in the Bible. Lying, stealing, hurting someone, etc. are all sins. In Romans 6:23 the Bible says that the wages of sin is death. It does not say that wages for sinning a lot is death. It says sin, period. So any sin you commit is payable by death. So according to God's law and word, the Holy Bible, the only payment option you have for any and all sins you have committed is death. There's just no way around it.
God, however, made a way for us sinners to spend eternity in Heaven at his side. God sent his perfect and only son, Jesus Christ, to pay for our sins with his death. When God said that the wages of sin is death, Jesus stepped into our place and essentially said, "I'll accept those wages." God volunteered Jesus to die, paying for all the sins we have committed and will ever commit. The price has been paid. Jesus bought you a one way ticket to Heaven. All you have to do is accept it. It really is that easy. Don't try to rationalize it, analyze it, or break it down. The love Jesus has for us unfathomable. Just accept Jesus Christ as your Savior today and let Him sort out the rest.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Thought for the Day
The last few days I've been thinking a lot. This usually gets me in trouble, but against my better judgment I kept it up. I started thinking about sin and why I continue to fail to meet God's standard set before the world in His perfect son, Jesus. Thats when I realized that deep in the recess of every heart lies an unspeakable evil. In the heart of each man, woman, and child lies the same evil that drives thieves to steal, robbers to rob, rapists to rape, and killers to kill. The sin in your hearts that causes you to curse when someone cuts you off in traffic or lie to cover your tail is the same exact sin, the same exact evil, that convinced Hitler to murder millions of Jews and Bundy to brutally slay dozens of young girls. We are born with this evil monster inside our hearts. This blood thirsty beast causes us to be incapable of any genuine love. Left to ourselves, we have proven that we don't need anyone's help to make this world a more terrible place than it already is.
But there is a way, one way, to tame the monster that resides within us. His name is Jesus Christ. You see, God is perfect and cannot allow our evil souls to enter His presence without us accepting Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. When Jesus died on the cross 2000 years ago, He shed his blood, bridging the gap between sinful humanity and the perfect, almighty God. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart the God raised him from the dead 3 days after his execution you will be saved! By doing this you accept the Lord as your Savior. Because of the death of Jesus, we no longer have to pay for our sins with our death. Jesus paid it for us!
Every time I think about the penalty I deserve to pay and the fact that I don't have to pay that penalty because Christ already paid it blows me away. Jesus died for you and me even though we're the ones who put him on the cross. We're the ones who beat him mercilessly, spit in his face, pressed the crown of thorns onto his brow, called him names, and mocked him even as he died. Think about that. Don't you understand the kind of death YOU deserve? You deserve to have your flesh split open, your blood flow like a fountain, and to die the same way Jesus did.
You have two choices: 1) Pay the penalty yourself with an eternity in Hell, or 2) Accept the gift of the death and resurrection of Jesus and allow him to pay the penalty for you. You decide.
But there is a way, one way, to tame the monster that resides within us. His name is Jesus Christ. You see, God is perfect and cannot allow our evil souls to enter His presence without us accepting Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. When Jesus died on the cross 2000 years ago, He shed his blood, bridging the gap between sinful humanity and the perfect, almighty God. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart the God raised him from the dead 3 days after his execution you will be saved! By doing this you accept the Lord as your Savior. Because of the death of Jesus, we no longer have to pay for our sins with our death. Jesus paid it for us!
Every time I think about the penalty I deserve to pay and the fact that I don't have to pay that penalty because Christ already paid it blows me away. Jesus died for you and me even though we're the ones who put him on the cross. We're the ones who beat him mercilessly, spit in his face, pressed the crown of thorns onto his brow, called him names, and mocked him even as he died. Think about that. Don't you understand the kind of death YOU deserve? You deserve to have your flesh split open, your blood flow like a fountain, and to die the same way Jesus did.
You have two choices: 1) Pay the penalty yourself with an eternity in Hell, or 2) Accept the gift of the death and resurrection of Jesus and allow him to pay the penalty for you. You decide.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Number 2 (go ahead, laugh)
So this is the second of hopefully many installments of the Thought Division. As of this moment I estimate that at least 3 people have visited this page. Yes, that number 3 does include myself and my wife (who is somewhat obligated to visit this page) but that point is moot.
As I was sitting here trying to come up with an idea that was more than just amusing to myself, I thought, "Why don't I just rant?" Okay, so this is probably only amusing to myself, but its my second post, what more do you want from me?
You know what really knots my knickers? People who think society owes them something. Just because someone the same color as me did something to someone the same color as you over 200 years ago does not mean that I owe you respect, special privileges, or a high five . Anything you want in life has to be earned. You have to get out there, roll up your sleeves, and get dirty before the chips start to fall your way. It may take years, but if you work your hardest you can make a better life for yourself.
Thats what makes this country great: Nobodies with nothing can become somebodies with everything. If you are ignorant and stupid enough to want society or the government to give you everything you need or want, be prepared to live a life without freedom. The bottom line is that you need to man-up and make things happen for yourself. Until you do, get comfy waiting for that welfare check in the mail while trying to vote into office the person who promises to give to you what those rich up-tights stole from the "less fortunate."
There, I feel better now. See you next time.
As I was sitting here trying to come up with an idea that was more than just amusing to myself, I thought, "Why don't I just rant?" Okay, so this is probably only amusing to myself, but its my second post, what more do you want from me?
You know what really knots my knickers? People who think society owes them something. Just because someone the same color as me did something to someone the same color as you over 200 years ago does not mean that I owe you respect, special privileges, or a high five . Anything you want in life has to be earned. You have to get out there, roll up your sleeves, and get dirty before the chips start to fall your way. It may take years, but if you work your hardest you can make a better life for yourself.
Thats what makes this country great: Nobodies with nothing can become somebodies with everything. If you are ignorant and stupid enough to want society or the government to give you everything you need or want, be prepared to live a life without freedom. The bottom line is that you need to man-up and make things happen for yourself. Until you do, get comfy waiting for that welfare check in the mail while trying to vote into office the person who promises to give to you what those rich up-tights stole from the "less fortunate."
There, I feel better now. See you next time.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
My first post
Well here it is, my first post on my first blog ever. This will probably suck way more than anyone thought it possibly could, but in concept it sounds clever and exciting. I guess I'll see how it goes.
In retrospect, I think the title makes this thing sound more thought provoking and in-depth than it will turn out to be, but what can you do? Anyways, the purpose of this thing is for me to write some things down. Amazing, huh?
But first I'll just go ahead and warn anyone reading this that I am rather biased individual who speaks his mind. With that said, all liberals, tree-huggers, evolutionists, pansies, homosexuals, Muslims, and any other left-wingers I forgot click the little arrow pointing to the left at the top of your web browser now. Is there anyone left? Good. Now for the rest of you who have their head screwed on straight, I hope you enjoy my little blog.
~Dustin
In retrospect, I think the title makes this thing sound more thought provoking and in-depth than it will turn out to be, but what can you do? Anyways, the purpose of this thing is for me to write some things down. Amazing, huh?
But first I'll just go ahead and warn anyone reading this that I am rather biased individual who speaks his mind. With that said, all liberals, tree-huggers, evolutionists, pansies, homosexuals, Muslims, and any other left-wingers I forgot click the little arrow pointing to the left at the top of your web browser now. Is there anyone left? Good. Now for the rest of you who have their head screwed on straight, I hope you enjoy my little blog.
~Dustin
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