Here's something my wife did so I decided to follow in her steps and do the same thing. Enjoy!
I am: Angela's really hot husband.
I think: the Jacksonville Jaguars are the best football team in the country!
I know: that I need to spend more time reading God's Word.
I want: be done with school and just work.
I have: really comfortable L.L. Bean slippers on my feet.
I wish: we were more responsible with our money.
I hate: all the dumb people in the world who are so dumb they don't even know it.
I miss: my Papa who died from stomach cancer in Dec. '96.
I fear: for my wife's safety.
I hear: the news on the TV in the living room.
I feel: my head pounding for some reason.
I smell: BBQ chicken cooking in the crock pot!
I crave: Texas Road House steaks.
I search: for a good job so I can take care of my family.
I wonder: what our kids will be like.
I regret: that I don't think everything through before I speak or act.
I love: giving my wife and Baggie kisses!
I ache: after I go to work at UPS.
I care: about taking care of Angela.
I always: watch the Jaguars when they're on TV.
I am not: going to let my kids make the same mistakes I've made.
I believe: in Jesus Christ, the son of God.
I dance: when I'm with my wife and NO ONE ELSE.
I sing: Baby Got Back.
I don’t always: go to class.
I fight: with Angela to take her medicine.
I write: blogs because they make my wife happy.
I win: at Phase 10 way more than Angela does.
I lose: my pens at work alot.
I never: wear make up even if my wife begs me to.
I listen: to Angela when she comes home from work and talks about how much she hates listening to dumb people.
I can usually be found: in bed at 12 a.m.
I am scared: of something bad happening to my family.
I need: to drive slower.
I am happy: that I am married to a woman as hot and sexy as my wife, Angela.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Its just around the corner!
Football season!!!!!
I can't wait. The time between the end of the Superbowl and the first NFL preseason game is so boring! The only thing that makes the last 2 months before preseason starts bearable is that 1010XL Sports Radio actually starts talking about the Jacksonville Jaguars on a regular basis (not just when one of them gets busted for drugs, dui, hit and run, etc), Jaguars minicamp and training camp are open to the public as well and the Jacksonville Jaguars website is updated on a regular basis.
We're at that point right now. The first Jaguars preseason game is Aug. 9th and I am barely holding myself together. During football season I eat, drink, and sleep football. I know my wife will agree. She just loves to talk about football with me, my Dad, and my brother! NOT! Anyways, she's getting better about football though. She understands most of the rules, who the players are (and not just Jaguars players. She even despises the Colt and those cheatin' Pats), and she knows what the point of the game is! She has her own Maurice Jones-Drew jersey that she wears with pride, along with her Jaguars ear rings, hair clip, and visor! I'm very proud of her. She's almost as die hard a Jacksonville Jaguars fan as I am!
After August 9th, I will be one happy camper... unless the Jaguars lose that week. In that case, my day will be ruined and everyone should avoid speaking to me until further notice.
I can't wait. The time between the end of the Superbowl and the first NFL preseason game is so boring! The only thing that makes the last 2 months before preseason starts bearable is that 1010XL Sports Radio actually starts talking about the Jacksonville Jaguars on a regular basis (not just when one of them gets busted for drugs, dui, hit and run, etc), Jaguars minicamp and training camp are open to the public as well and the Jacksonville Jaguars website is updated on a regular basis.
We're at that point right now. The first Jaguars preseason game is Aug. 9th and I am barely holding myself together. During football season I eat, drink, and sleep football. I know my wife will agree. She just loves to talk about football with me, my Dad, and my brother! NOT! Anyways, she's getting better about football though. She understands most of the rules, who the players are (and not just Jaguars players. She even despises the Colt and those cheatin' Pats), and she knows what the point of the game is! She has her own Maurice Jones-Drew jersey that she wears with pride, along with her Jaguars ear rings, hair clip, and visor! I'm very proud of her. She's almost as die hard a Jacksonville Jaguars fan as I am!
After August 9th, I will be one happy camper... unless the Jaguars lose that week. In that case, my day will be ruined and everyone should avoid speaking to me until further notice.
Go Jaguars!!!!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Its all fun and games until someone loses an eye....
Then its just fun! Who doesn't love practical jokes (not counting Osama, Stalin, Hitler and Satan)? I know I do! There's nothing more hilarious than the honestly confused, perplexed, astounded, and/or downright terrified expression on an unsuspecting victim's face. With that said, here's some really funny practical jokes that you can play at your place of work and NOT lose your job. Of course if you are willing to lose your job, you can REALLY take the jokes to the next level!
1. Place a paperclip on the office photocopier and make 100 or so copies of it. Then remove the paperclip and load the papers with the image of the paperclip into the paper tray. Your coworkers/ victims will go nuts trying to find the paperclip inside the copier!
2. If you have an office phone system that allows conference calling, you can prank two people at once. Call the first victim’s extension, then very quickly call the second victim and push the conference button. Now both people will think the other person called them and will begin arguing over who called whom!
3. Take an item from the victim’s office (something they use a lot such as a special coffee cup, stapler, pencil cup, etc.). Take a picture of the item and leave it on the victim’s desk (in the same spot where the item was located), along with a “ransom” note.
4. If the victim uses Microsoft Word, go into the victim’s computer and change the auto-correct feature so it misspells common words. Just open Word, choose “AutoCorrect Options” from the Tools menu, and have it replace common words like “the” and “and” with words like "terd" and "anus". The sky is the limit with this one!
5. Take a Post-It note and place it over the eye of the victim’s optical mouse. When the victim tries to use his or her computer, the cursor won’t move. (Note if they have a standard mouse, you can perform the same trick by taping a piece of paper over the ball underneath the mouse.)
Those are just a few I found. I hope you guys who are lucky enough to work in a posh, climate controlled, cushy chaired, office will have some fun with this.
Disclaimer: I, along with Blogspot, am in no way, shape, or form responsible for any consequences and/or punishments you bring on yourself by attempting any of the above listed practical jokes. Please, however, leave a comment clearly depicting any practical jokes attempted!
1. Place a paperclip on the office photocopier and make 100 or so copies of it. Then remove the paperclip and load the papers with the image of the paperclip into the paper tray. Your coworkers/ victims will go nuts trying to find the paperclip inside the copier!
2. If you have an office phone system that allows conference calling, you can prank two people at once. Call the first victim’s extension, then very quickly call the second victim and push the conference button. Now both people will think the other person called them and will begin arguing over who called whom!
3. Take an item from the victim’s office (something they use a lot such as a special coffee cup, stapler, pencil cup, etc.). Take a picture of the item and leave it on the victim’s desk (in the same spot where the item was located), along with a “ransom” note.
4. If the victim uses Microsoft Word, go into the victim’s computer and change the auto-correct feature so it misspells common words. Just open Word, choose “AutoCorrect Options” from the Tools menu, and have it replace common words like “the” and “and” with words like "terd" and "anus". The sky is the limit with this one!
5. Take a Post-It note and place it over the eye of the victim’s optical mouse. When the victim tries to use his or her computer, the cursor won’t move. (Note if they have a standard mouse, you can perform the same trick by taping a piece of paper over the ball underneath the mouse.)
Those are just a few I found. I hope you guys who are lucky enough to work in a posh, climate controlled, cushy chaired, office will have some fun with this.
Disclaimer: I, along with Blogspot, am in no way, shape, or form responsible for any consequences and/or punishments you bring on yourself by attempting any of the above listed practical jokes. Please, however, leave a comment clearly depicting any practical jokes attempted!
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
I love my wife!
I love my wife! But just how much do I love my wife? Hmmm...Lets see!
I love my wife more than...
peanut butter pickles!
greasy bloated road kill!
Adolph Hitler!
stinky litter boxes!
broken computers!
groin "area" injuries!
wannabe ninjas!
paper cuts!
bee stings on my eye lids!
sand in my mouth!
surprise bills!
the New England Patriots!
and ice cream!
This is just a short list of all the things that are not even close to being loved as much as I love my precious bride, Angela! Angela is nothing short of the best thing that has ever happened to me. She is way out of my league and seems oblivious to the fact that she is stunningly gorgeous and highly intelligent. She does such a good job of taking care of me since I am in a constant state of tiredness. She always has good food for me and doesn't complain when we only go see guy movies, if I forget to vacuum for a week, or when I accidentally buy things we can't afford. She is nothing short of the best wife any man could ever dream of! I love you, babe!
PS. Sorry everyone had to read that mushy blog.
I love my wife more than...
peanut butter pickles!
greasy bloated road kill!
Adolph Hitler!
stinky litter boxes!
broken computers!
groin "area" injuries!
wannabe ninjas!
paper cuts!
bee stings on my eye lids!
sand in my mouth!
surprise bills!
the New England Patriots!
and ice cream!
This is just a short list of all the things that are not even close to being loved as much as I love my precious bride, Angela! Angela is nothing short of the best thing that has ever happened to me. She is way out of my league and seems oblivious to the fact that she is stunningly gorgeous and highly intelligent. She does such a good job of taking care of me since I am in a constant state of tiredness. She always has good food for me and doesn't complain when we only go see guy movies, if I forget to vacuum for a week, or when I accidentally buy things we can't afford. She is nothing short of the best wife any man could ever dream of! I love you, babe!
PS. Sorry everyone had to read that mushy blog.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Hoax or No Hoax???
After reading a terrifying story on a friend's blog that tells of a small child being bitten to death by copperhead rattlesnakes in a fast food joint's ball pit, I started investigating other popular internet stories and pictures that people assume are real because they're on the world wide web. After all, people wouldn't post lie on the web, would they? Well it turns out they do. With that said, here's some little tests I found that test your gullibility. After you take the test, post your first score in my comments. No cheating! Here is what I scored:
Level One: 9 out of 10
Level Two: 8 out of 10
Level Three: 6 out of 10
Level Four: 8 out of 10
So here is the test and good luck!
Hoax Text!
All four hoax test links are at the top of the first page.
Level One: 9 out of 10
Level Two: 8 out of 10
Level Three: 6 out of 10
Level Four: 8 out of 10
So here is the test and good luck!
Hoax Text!
All four hoax test links are at the top of the first page.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Its Been a While...
I know its been a ridiculously long time since I posted, but at the nag...I mean encouragement of my wife, here is at least one more post.
Apparently there's this thing called a "meme." Someone tags you for a list of information about you and then you post it on your blog. So my wife tagged me for one of these. In the "meme" I have to post:
1. List your top ten favorite films (in no particular order).
2. If you're tagged, you've got to post & tag 3-5 other people.
3. Give a tag back (some link love) to the one who tagged you in your post
4. Give a hat tip (HT) to Dan.
1)Naming my top ten favorite films will be hard, so I think I'll just give ten films that were freaking awesome.
1. The Matrix
2. Gladiator
3. Saving Private Ryan
4. Braveheart
5. The Last Samurai
6. No Country For Old Men
7. Man on Fire
8. Batman Begins
9. The Departed
10. Shooter
2) I will tag Angela, Dayna, and Stacie because they are the only three people I know who write blogs. If you've already been tagged to do this then instead of listing your top ten movies, you must list your ten favorite movies that your husband also likes to watch.
3) And my tag back love goes to Angela. Check her blog out because its pretty silly just like she is. She's also pretty smokin' hot so go see her blog and a pic or 2 of her if for nothing else.
4) HT to Dan, whoever you are.
There. I'm done with my blog for quarter. Peace.
Apparently there's this thing called a "meme." Someone tags you for a list of information about you and then you post it on your blog. So my wife tagged me for one of these. In the "meme" I have to post:
1. List your top ten favorite films (in no particular order).
2. If you're tagged, you've got to post & tag 3-5 other people.
3. Give a tag back (some link love) to the one who tagged you in your post
4. Give a hat tip (HT) to Dan.
1)Naming my top ten favorite films will be hard, so I think I'll just give ten films that were freaking awesome.
1. The Matrix
2. Gladiator
3. Saving Private Ryan
4. Braveheart
5. The Last Samurai
6. No Country For Old Men
7. Man on Fire
8. Batman Begins
9. The Departed
10. Shooter
2) I will tag Angela, Dayna, and Stacie because they are the only three people I know who write blogs. If you've already been tagged to do this then instead of listing your top ten movies, you must list your ten favorite movies that your husband also likes to watch.
3) And my tag back love goes to Angela. Check her blog out because its pretty silly just like she is. She's also pretty smokin' hot so go see her blog and a pic or 2 of her if for nothing else.
4) HT to Dan, whoever you are.
There. I'm done with my blog for quarter. Peace.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
100 Things I Thank God For!
In light of my sister-in-law's recent blog about 100 things she is thankful for, I decided to write up my own list in similar fashion. So here it goes.
1. My salvation (without it, whats the point?)
2. My stunningly beautiful wife (I am way out of my league!)
3. Christian parents who saw fit to raise me in church and point me towards God
4. The in-laws who raised my wife to be the Godly woman that she is
5. My little bro
6. My brother and sister in-law (you guys are alright, I guess...)
7. First Baptist Church of Jacksonville (shining the light in a dark world)
8. Dr. Brunson laying down the Word (its a dirty job but someones gotta do it)
9. Christian friends who encourage and strengthen me with their love for Christ
10. The freedom this country offers (even the freedom to be completely stupid. See: "insert left wing nut job here")
11. The guys and gals in the armed forces so I can sleep at night not wondering if I'll wake up in a pile of rubble and body parts ("People sleep peaceably in their beds at night because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." - George Orwell)
12. President Bush (sometimes doing the right thing is unpopular and it takes a real man to make those kind of decisions)
13. Baggie! (our little, black kitty is so cute I just wanna squish her and rub her and pet her and cuddle her and kiss her and....)
14. The opportunity to go to school
15. My job (even though sometimes I hate it)
16. The Greatest Generation (Thank you with all my heart to the men and women who paid in blood to defeat evil)
17. The Jacksonville Jaguars!!!! Go Jaguars! Whooooooooo!
18. The internet (not counting all the bad stuff out there)
19. Sirloin Steak with
20. Loaded Bake Potato and a
21. Loaded Sweet Potato (A baked sweet potato with marshmallows and cinnamon butter is awesome!)
22. Being an American
23. my mental health (you'd understand if you'd talk to my dad for 2 min...J/K Dad, I love you!)
24. the money God has given us (sorry when I squander it, Lord!)
25. Honda (best vehicles on the planet)
26. video games (what could be better than tons of fun in the comfort of your home while sitting on the couch and enjoying a soda?)
27. My wife's sense of humor,
28. smile,
29. gorgeous, brown (I mean blue!) eyes,
30. and her amazingly, sexy body (I know she'll be embarrassed but I can't NOT put it on here)
31. And on that note: Sex. (I'd be lying to myself and my wife if this wasn't on here. She'd think an alien wrote this blog if I left it out. Sorry, guys.)
32. But most of all my wife's love (She is good to me!)
33. Police (even if you pull me over when I'm not speeding)
34. Fire Dept.
35. EMT's
36. movies (Yay for ninjas, pirates, explosions, and shoot-outs)
37. beef supreme gorditas
38. Being able to pay the bills.
39. Safe, reliable vehicles for my wife and myself to drive
40. my physical health
41. hot showers (not the kind near boiling temperatures like my wife enjoys)
42. The Right to Bear Arms (I dare you to break into my house.)
43. Spaghetti (even though my wife is tired of it)
44. God allowing me to make mistakes (if I were God I'd have been dead a long time ago) and
45. God's forgiveness (even though I am habitually stupid)
46. Naps with my
47. soft pillow and
48. water bed that are just heavenly!
49. hot wings (You know they're good when your sweat is spicy!)
50. My wife's sexy body
51. My sight! (What good would a hot wife be without it?)
52. Clint Eastwood movies (Do you feel lucky, punk? Well? Do ya?)
53. Driving alone on a dark road at night with myself and the Lord and no one else for miles
54. Pizza (thank you Ninja Turtles)
55. Creating art
56. Football season! (NFL only, college is a joke until they get a playoff system)
57. the computer game Age of Empires (1, 2, and 3)
58. pulled pork at Mojo's BBQ
59. music
60.The death of Jesus and
61. the resurrection of Jesus (Just so a bunch of losers who may or may not love him would simply have a chance at life! Astounding!)
62. Cookies and
63. hugs (you thought I was going to say milk, didn't you?)
64. milk
65. Quarters (its always so exciting to find one in my car!)
66. Laughing
67. the time spent with my Papa (best man who ever lived)
68. My concealed weapon permit (threaten my wife's safety and see if you end up anywhere other than ICU or the morgue)
69. jeans (they're so comfy!)
70. The show Cops (so thats what happens if you run from, fight with, and lie to the police!)
71. An ice, cold Coke on a hot day
72. my Dad coaching me in little league sports (thanks Dad! You taught me so much!)
73. ice cream with
74. sprinkles (the kind that is really just colored sugar)
75. a fast metabolism (with out I'd weigh 842.2 lbs by now)
76. being able to tell time on an analog clock
77. My big, comfy couch
78. A wife who knows how to cook! (Required in the south.)
79. Zombies not being real (or are they?)
80. Tom Clancy novels
81. Batman
82. Warm, sunny days spending time at
83. swimming pools (the fun of the beach minus the sandy feeling in your butt crack)
84. The way my wife smells so dang, good! (I'm so glad she showers)
85. Being able to help people in need
86. Being literate
87. Living in the south (the weather, the water, and the women, er... just my wife now!)
88. 1010XL Sports Talk Radio
89. my new Wii (so much fun but beware muscle pulls)
90. tennis shoes
91. Dr. Pepper
92. real Doctors
93. the fact that no more new episodes of Friends will ever be filmed
94. My wife's smokin' hot body (did I say that one already?)
95. the rain
96. The Kay's (great Sunday school teachers!)
97. rollie pollies (they're so cool!)
98. The day our loud next door neighbor moved
99. My computer (without it bills would never get paid on time)
100. The after taste root beer leaves in your mouth! Yum!
So there ya have it, folks. 100 things that I am truly thankful for. I have so much to be thankful for that even when life stinks I should never cease to praise and thank God for all that he has blessed me with!
1. My salvation (without it, whats the point?)
2. My stunningly beautiful wife (I am way out of my league!)
3. Christian parents who saw fit to raise me in church and point me towards God
4. The in-laws who raised my wife to be the Godly woman that she is
5. My little bro
6. My brother and sister in-law (you guys are alright, I guess...)
7. First Baptist Church of Jacksonville (shining the light in a dark world)
8. Dr. Brunson laying down the Word (its a dirty job but someones gotta do it)
9. Christian friends who encourage and strengthen me with their love for Christ
10. The freedom this country offers (even the freedom to be completely stupid. See: "insert left wing nut job here")
11. The guys and gals in the armed forces so I can sleep at night not wondering if I'll wake up in a pile of rubble and body parts ("People sleep peaceably in their beds at night because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." - George Orwell)
12. President Bush (sometimes doing the right thing is unpopular and it takes a real man to make those kind of decisions)
13. Baggie! (our little, black kitty is so cute I just wanna squish her and rub her and pet her and cuddle her and kiss her and....)
14. The opportunity to go to school
15. My job (even though sometimes I hate it)
16. The Greatest Generation (Thank you with all my heart to the men and women who paid in blood to defeat evil)
17. The Jacksonville Jaguars!!!! Go Jaguars! Whooooooooo!
18. The internet (not counting all the bad stuff out there)
19. Sirloin Steak with
20. Loaded Bake Potato and a
21. Loaded Sweet Potato (A baked sweet potato with marshmallows and cinnamon butter is awesome!)
22. Being an American
23. my mental health (you'd understand if you'd talk to my dad for 2 min...J/K Dad, I love you!)
24. the money God has given us (sorry when I squander it, Lord!)
25. Honda (best vehicles on the planet)
26. video games (what could be better than tons of fun in the comfort of your home while sitting on the couch and enjoying a soda?)
27. My wife's sense of humor,
28. smile,
29. gorgeous, brown (I mean blue!) eyes,
30. and her amazingly, sexy body (I know she'll be embarrassed but I can't NOT put it on here)
31. And on that note: Sex. (I'd be lying to myself and my wife if this wasn't on here. She'd think an alien wrote this blog if I left it out. Sorry, guys.)
32. But most of all my wife's love (She is good to me!)
33. Police (even if you pull me over when I'm not speeding)
34. Fire Dept.
35. EMT's
36. movies (Yay for ninjas, pirates, explosions, and shoot-outs)
37. beef supreme gorditas
38. Being able to pay the bills.
39. Safe, reliable vehicles for my wife and myself to drive
40. my physical health
41. hot showers (not the kind near boiling temperatures like my wife enjoys)
42. The Right to Bear Arms (I dare you to break into my house.)
43. Spaghetti (even though my wife is tired of it)
44. God allowing me to make mistakes (if I were God I'd have been dead a long time ago) and
45. God's forgiveness (even though I am habitually stupid)
46. Naps with my
47. soft pillow and
48. water bed that are just heavenly!
49. hot wings (You know they're good when your sweat is spicy!)
50. My wife's sexy body
51. My sight! (What good would a hot wife be without it?)
52. Clint Eastwood movies (Do you feel lucky, punk? Well? Do ya?)
53. Driving alone on a dark road at night with myself and the Lord and no one else for miles
54. Pizza (thank you Ninja Turtles)
55. Creating art
56. Football season! (NFL only, college is a joke until they get a playoff system)
57. the computer game Age of Empires (1, 2, and 3)
58. pulled pork at Mojo's BBQ
59. music
60.The death of Jesus and
61. the resurrection of Jesus (Just so a bunch of losers who may or may not love him would simply have a chance at life! Astounding!)
62. Cookies and
63. hugs (you thought I was going to say milk, didn't you?)
64. milk
65. Quarters (its always so exciting to find one in my car!)
66. Laughing
67. the time spent with my Papa (best man who ever lived)
68. My concealed weapon permit (threaten my wife's safety and see if you end up anywhere other than ICU or the morgue)
69. jeans (they're so comfy!)
70. The show Cops (so thats what happens if you run from, fight with, and lie to the police!)
71. An ice, cold Coke on a hot day
72. my Dad coaching me in little league sports (thanks Dad! You taught me so much!)
73. ice cream with
74. sprinkles (the kind that is really just colored sugar)
75. a fast metabolism (with out I'd weigh 842.2 lbs by now)
76. being able to tell time on an analog clock
77. My big, comfy couch
78. A wife who knows how to cook! (Required in the south.)
79. Zombies not being real (or are they?)
80. Tom Clancy novels
81. Batman
82. Warm, sunny days spending time at
83. swimming pools (the fun of the beach minus the sandy feeling in your butt crack)
84. The way my wife smells so dang, good! (I'm so glad she showers)
85. Being able to help people in need
86. Being literate
87. Living in the south (the weather, the water, and the women, er... just my wife now!)
88. 1010XL Sports Talk Radio
89. my new Wii (so much fun but beware muscle pulls)
90. tennis shoes
91. Dr. Pepper
92. real Doctors
93. the fact that no more new episodes of Friends will ever be filmed
94. My wife's smokin' hot body (did I say that one already?)
95. the rain
96. The Kay's (great Sunday school teachers!)
97. rollie pollies (they're so cool!)
98. The day our loud next door neighbor moved
99. My computer (without it bills would never get paid on time)
100. The after taste root beer leaves in your mouth! Yum!
So there ya have it, folks. 100 things that I am truly thankful for. I have so much to be thankful for that even when life stinks I should never cease to praise and thank God for all that he has blessed me with!
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