Thursday, July 31, 2008

Its just around the corner!

Football season!!!!!

I can't wait. The time between the end of the Superbowl and the first NFL preseason game is so boring! The only thing that makes the last 2 months before preseason starts bearable is that 1010XL Sports Radio actually starts talking about the Jacksonville Jaguars on a regular basis (not just when one of them gets busted for drugs, dui, hit and run, etc), Jaguars minicamp and training camp are open to the public as well and the Jacksonville Jaguars website is updated on a regular basis.

We're at that point right now. The first Jaguars preseason game is Aug. 9th and I am barely holding myself together. During football season I eat, drink, and sleep football. I know my wife will agree. She just loves to talk about football with me, my Dad, and my brother! NOT! Anyways, she's getting better about football though. She understands most of the rules, who the players are (and not just Jaguars players. She even despises the Colt and those cheatin' Pats), and she knows what the point of the game is! She has her own Maurice Jones-Drew jersey that she wears with pride, along with her Jaguars ear rings, hair clip, and visor! I'm very proud of her. She's almost as die hard a Jacksonville Jaguars fan as I am!

After August 9th, I will be one happy camper... unless the Jaguars lose that week. In that case, my day will be ruined and everyone should avoid speaking to me until further notice.

Go Jaguars!!!!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Its all fun and games until someone loses an eye....

Then its just fun! Who doesn't love practical jokes (not counting Osama, Stalin, Hitler and Satan)? I know I do! There's nothing more hilarious than the honestly confused, perplexed, astounded, and/or downright terrified expression on an unsuspecting victim's face. With that said, here's some really funny practical jokes that you can play at your place of work and NOT lose your job. Of course if you are willing to lose your job, you can REALLY take the jokes to the next level!

1. Place a paperclip on the office photocopier and make 100 or so copies of it. Then remove the paperclip and load the papers with the image of the paperclip into the paper tray. Your coworkers/ victims will go nuts trying to find the paperclip inside the copier!

2. If you have an office phone system that allows conference calling, you can prank two people at once. Call the first victim’s extension, then very quickly call the second victim and push the conference button. Now both people will think the other person called them and will begin arguing over who called whom!

3. Take an item from the victim’s office (something they use a lot such as a special coffee cup, stapler, pencil cup, etc.). Take a picture of the item and leave it on the victim’s desk (in the same spot where the item was located), along with a “ransom” note.

4. If the victim uses Microsoft Word, go into the victim’s computer and change the auto-correct feature so it misspells common words. Just open Word, choose “AutoCorrect Options” from the Tools menu, and have it replace common words like “the” and “and” with words like "terd" and "anus". The sky is the limit with this one!

5. Take a Post-It note and place it over the eye of the victim’s optical mouse. When the victim tries to use his or her computer, the cursor won’t move. (Note if they have a standard mouse, you can perform the same trick by taping a piece of paper over the ball underneath the mouse.)

Those are just a few I found. I hope you guys who are lucky enough to work in a posh, climate controlled, cushy chaired, office will have some fun with this.

Disclaimer: I, along with Blogspot, am in no way, shape, or form responsible for any consequences and/or punishments you bring on yourself by attempting any of the above listed practical jokes. Please, however, leave a comment clearly depicting any practical jokes attempted!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I love my wife!

I love my wife! But just how much do I love my wife? Hmmm...Lets see!

I love my wife more than...

peanut butter pickles!
greasy bloated road kill!
Adolph Hitler!
stinky litter boxes!
broken computers!
groin "area" injuries!
wannabe ninjas!
paper cuts!
bee stings on my eye lids!
sand in my mouth!
surprise bills!
the New England Patriots!
and ice cream!

This is just a short list of all the things that are not even close to being loved as much as I love my precious bride, Angela! Angela is nothing short of the best thing that has ever happened to me. She is way out of my league and seems oblivious to the fact that she is stunningly gorgeous and highly intelligent. She does such a good job of taking care of me since I am in a constant state of tiredness. She always has good food for me and doesn't complain when we only go see guy movies, if I forget to vacuum for a week, or when I accidentally buy things we can't afford. She is nothing short of the best wife any man could ever dream of! I love you, babe!

PS. Sorry everyone had to read that mushy blog.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Hoax or No Hoax???

After reading a terrifying story on a friend's blog that tells of a small child being bitten to death by copperhead rattlesnakes in a fast food joint's ball pit, I started investigating other popular internet stories and pictures that people assume are real because they're on the world wide web. After all, people wouldn't post lie on the web, would they? Well it turns out they do. With that said, here's some little tests I found that test your gullibility. After you take the test, post your first score in my comments. No cheating! Here is what I scored:

Level One: 9 out of 10
Level Two: 8 out of 10
Level Three: 6 out of 10
Level Four: 8 out of 10

So here is the test and good luck!

Hoax Text!

All four hoax test links are at the top of the first page.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Its Been a While...

I know its been a ridiculously long time since I posted, but at the nag...I mean encouragement of my wife, here is at least one more post.

Apparently there's this thing called a "meme." Someone tags you for a list of information about you and then you post it on your blog. So my wife tagged me for one of these. In the "meme" I have to post:

1. List your top ten favorite films (in no particular order).
2. If you're tagged, you've got to post & tag 3-5 other people.
3. Give a tag back (some link love) to the one who tagged you in your post
4. Give a hat tip (HT) to Dan.

1)Naming my top ten favorite films will be hard, so I think I'll just give ten films that were freaking awesome.

1. The Matrix
2. Gladiator
3. Saving Private Ryan
4. Braveheart
5. The Last Samurai
6. No Country For Old Men
7. Man on Fire
8. Batman Begins
9. The Departed
10. Shooter

2) I will tag Angela, Dayna, and Stacie because they are the only three people I know who write blogs. If you've already been tagged to do this then instead of listing your top ten movies, you must list your ten favorite movies that your husband also likes to watch.

3) And my tag back love goes to Angela. Check her blog out because its pretty silly just like she is. She's also pretty smokin' hot so go see her blog and a pic or 2 of her if for nothing else.

4) HT to Dan, whoever you are.

There. I'm done with my blog for quarter. Peace.