Ok, I know its been forever since I've posted, but I've been so incredibly busy. Since the last time I posted on my blog I've started a new job, been out of town 3 weekends and not counting the 2 straight weeks I was in Atlanta. I've been super busy with church and even busier with the holidays now here. With that being said, I'm sorry I haven't posted in forever.
Anyways, I designed a new blog for my wife, Angela. It turned out so great and and I had such a great time that I've decided to start designing blogs as a little side job. I'm not really wanting to make money, I'm just mostly doing it for the fun! So if you want a blog redesigned just shoot me an email!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Hardees and Their EXCELLENT Service!
So I stopped by Hardees today because my beautiful, moviestar-gorgeous wife scored me a free 1/3 lbs. thickburger coupon. So I pull up to the window of the Hardees located at 491 Blanding Blvd, Orange Park, FL 32073. The overpaid, minimum wage earning, young girl greets me through the speaker.
I tell her, "Hi, I'd like a 1/3 lbs. Original thick burger with no onions and I have a coupon for a free 1/3 lbs. thick burger."
She says, "The coupon say what?"
"Free," I repeat.
"Does it say buy 1 get 1 free or 1/2 off?" she asks.
"No, it says free," I say again. "Free in big white letters. F-R-E-E."
She repeats my order back to me and quotes me a price of $5.XX that includes the full price of the burger and my large coke. So I pull around the corner up to the window.
"$5.XX, please," she asks, as I hand her the coupon.
"Is that the price before or after the coupon?"
"After," she says confidently.
"So I'm paying $5.XX for my large coke?" I inquire.
"Oh." She then proceeds to goof around with the computer.
At this time the manager walks up and starts to ask the girl what she's doing. The girl then explains that I've got a free coupon for my burger and she's trying to adjust the price.
Standing on the opposite side of the cashier, she then yells across her and out the window at me, "You gots to tell us when yo got a coupon when yo' orderin'!"
The cashier says, "He did."
Rather than apologizing or even saying, "Oh," the manager turns around and walks off. The cashier then hands me my food and shuts the window as I'm saying, "Thank you."
Gotta love that Hardee's service!!!
I tell her, "Hi, I'd like a 1/3 lbs. Original thick burger with no onions and I have a coupon for a free 1/3 lbs. thick burger."
She says, "The coupon say what?"
"Free," I repeat.
"Does it say buy 1 get 1 free or 1/2 off?" she asks.
"No, it says free," I say again. "Free in big white letters. F-R-E-E."
She repeats my order back to me and quotes me a price of $5.XX that includes the full price of the burger and my large coke. So I pull around the corner up to the window.
"$5.XX, please," she asks, as I hand her the coupon.
"Is that the price before or after the coupon?"
"After," she says confidently.
"So I'm paying $5.XX for my large coke?" I inquire.
"Oh." She then proceeds to goof around with the computer.
At this time the manager walks up and starts to ask the girl what she's doing. The girl then explains that I've got a free coupon for my burger and she's trying to adjust the price.
Standing on the opposite side of the cashier, she then yells across her and out the window at me, "You gots to tell us when yo got a coupon when yo' orderin'!"
The cashier says, "He did."
Rather than apologizing or even saying, "Oh," the manager turns around and walks off. The cashier then hands me my food and shuts the window as I'm saying, "Thank you."
Gotta love that Hardee's service!!!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
I've Been Tagged By a Thug!
Ok so my wife isn't a traditional thug, but maybe a craft thug! Or a loves-to-read-books-about-amish-girls thug. Anyways, I was tagged by Angela to list some weird things about myself so here it goes:
RULES:
Link to the person who tagged you
Post the rules on your blog
List 6 unspectacular quirks you have
Tag 6 bloggers by linking them
Leave a comment on each taggee's blog to let them know they've been tagged.
QUIRK 1) When the Jacksonville Jaguars lose a game, I almost can't function. I'm so depressed when the Jags can't pull out the victory. Yes, I know its not healthy to be that emotionally invested in a game.
QUIRK 2) When Angela and I leave the house I can't stand for anyone other than myself to be driving. I don't know if its because I have this crazy need to be in control or I feel like I have to take care of Angela. I just can't stand to not be the one driving.
QUIRK 3) Sometimes I go to movies all by myself. I work from 4 am until about 10 am so I have a large portion of the day to spend by myself. So rather than sitting at home while Angela is at work, I used to go watch action movies since I couldn't go see them with Angela. Turns out Angela hates movies where people get turned into bloody clouds of meat chunks.
QUIRK 4) When I was going to school at the University of North Florida, I would actually spend several hours a day sleeping in my car. I would leave work at 10 am, spend a few hours in class, and then be so tired I couldn't function until I had napped. The house was too far away to warrant driving there and back and I would have class only an hour later so my only option was to sleep in the car. That early morning work schedule screwed me up bad.
QUIRK 5) Late at night when Angela and I get into comfy-mode to eat dinner and watch TV before bed, Angela puts on her pajamas and I put on some jeans. Jeans are my pajama pants. I don't know why but they're just so comfy.
QUIRK 6) Sometimes when Angela and I are kidding around with each other, I'll say the strangest insults to her. For instance, it would not be uncommon in our house for a conversation to go something like this: Angela says, "Dustin, will you pass the salt shaker?" I say, "You're a salt shaker!" I know, it's weird, but that's what we do.
So my 6 bloggers to link to are: Stacie, Madye, Rachel and Dayna. I know thats only 4 but I don't have many blog friends.
RULES:
Link to the person who tagged you
Post the rules on your blog
List 6 unspectacular quirks you have
Tag 6 bloggers by linking them
Leave a comment on each taggee's blog to let them know they've been tagged.
QUIRK 1) When the Jacksonville Jaguars lose a game, I almost can't function. I'm so depressed when the Jags can't pull out the victory. Yes, I know its not healthy to be that emotionally invested in a game.
QUIRK 2) When Angela and I leave the house I can't stand for anyone other than myself to be driving. I don't know if its because I have this crazy need to be in control or I feel like I have to take care of Angela. I just can't stand to not be the one driving.
QUIRK 3) Sometimes I go to movies all by myself. I work from 4 am until about 10 am so I have a large portion of the day to spend by myself. So rather than sitting at home while Angela is at work, I used to go watch action movies since I couldn't go see them with Angela. Turns out Angela hates movies where people get turned into bloody clouds of meat chunks.
QUIRK 4) When I was going to school at the University of North Florida, I would actually spend several hours a day sleeping in my car. I would leave work at 10 am, spend a few hours in class, and then be so tired I couldn't function until I had napped. The house was too far away to warrant driving there and back and I would have class only an hour later so my only option was to sleep in the car. That early morning work schedule screwed me up bad.
QUIRK 5) Late at night when Angela and I get into comfy-mode to eat dinner and watch TV before bed, Angela puts on her pajamas and I put on some jeans. Jeans are my pajama pants. I don't know why but they're just so comfy.
QUIRK 6) Sometimes when Angela and I are kidding around with each other, I'll say the strangest insults to her. For instance, it would not be uncommon in our house for a conversation to go something like this: Angela says, "Dustin, will you pass the salt shaker?" I say, "You're a salt shaker!" I know, it's weird, but that's what we do.
So my 6 bloggers to link to are: Stacie, Madye, Rachel and Dayna. I know thats only 4 but I don't have many blog friends.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Yay!
So it's official: I have a new job! I am very excited about it, too. As of October 11, 2008 I will no longer be working for UPS. On October 6 I will start working for Pragmatic Works. Pragmatic Works is a small consulting firm that helps other companies make sense out of all the raw data in their databases. Also, I will help train new interns, work a little bit with website development, and also do a little marketing work. I'm so excited that I'll actually be working in the field that I've always wanted to. In highschool I studied a lot of web design and now I'll actually be doing that. Thanks to everyone who was praying for me! I'll keep everyone posted on how the job is going!
Friday, September 19, 2008
Taking a Turn (For the Worse?)
In hopes to draw more readership of my otherwise boring and seldom updated blog, I've resorted to posting exciting and awesome videos of explosions, ninjas, and guns. But in the ensuing aftermath of my most recent "awesome" posts, I noticed that my blogs were not read more and were definitely not commented on more. I've only had 3 comments on my "awesome" video posts: 2 were from my wife because I asked her to and 1 was by Rachel because I addressed her by name.
So I started thinking, "Why aren't more people commenting on my amazingly awesome blogs? I mean, what the heck? They have explosions, ninjas, and guns! What more do they want?!" Then it hit me. My blog is read solely by a bunch of silly girls. Rachel: silly. Stacie: silly. My mom: silly. Dayna: silly. Madye: silly...based only on what I've heard. My wife, Angela: The silliest girl in the world!!! Now that I've got my audience pegged, I should be able to blog more effectively thus increasing your amount of entertainment, as if there was any in the first place. I close with a picture of a cute kitten holding a sniper rifle. The silly girls will enjoy the adorable kitten and I'll enjoy the fact that he's holding a high powered rifle.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Boom!
Continuing with my theme of videos, I've decided to post a very cool video of combat operations in Afghanistan. The video was filmed from the gun camera on an AC-130 gunship, shown here:
Unlike most attack aircraft, the guns are not situated facing forward. Instead, the AC-130's guns are mounted on the side pointing outward under the wing. This allows the pilot to circle the target from up above while the gunner shoots downward, kinda like shooting fish in a barrel. So without further ado, here is some pretty amazing video of an AC-130 gunship taking out some dirty muslim extremists in Afghanistan. Listen carefully to the chatter as the gunner consciously avoids destroying the mosque. Also, the little white blobs running around are people, and if you look closely you can see pieces of those little white blobs spraying in all directions during the explosions!
With today's technology, it is clearly not a good time to be a terrorist.
PS. Rachel, make sure Jeff watches this video. I know he'll like it!
Unlike most attack aircraft, the guns are not situated facing forward. Instead, the AC-130's guns are mounted on the side pointing outward under the wing. This allows the pilot to circle the target from up above while the gunner shoots downward, kinda like shooting fish in a barrel. So without further ado, here is some pretty amazing video of an AC-130 gunship taking out some dirty muslim extremists in Afghanistan. Listen carefully to the chatter as the gunner consciously avoids destroying the mosque. Also, the little white blobs running around are people, and if you look closely you can see pieces of those little white blobs spraying in all directions during the explosions!With today's technology, it is clearly not a good time to be a terrorist.
PS. Rachel, make sure Jeff watches this video. I know he'll like it!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Fun Stuff
In the spirit of things that are manly I've decided to provide you with some very cool videos of things that I enjoy and like. I was inspired to do this post after I read a fellow bloggerettes post about guns. And since I like guns, thats what my first video will be about!
I also like Ninjas! Who doesn't? They're dark, mysterious, nearly invincible, and can kill you before you even know you're dead! This is an especially awesome video from the movie The Last Samurai of ninjas vs. samurai! Bad to the bone!
And finally for my last video, a video of horrific crashes, explosions, and disasters! What could be more awesome than that (not counting ninjas and guns)! Enjoy!
I also like Ninjas! Who doesn't? They're dark, mysterious, nearly invincible, and can kill you before you even know you're dead! This is an especially awesome video from the movie The Last Samurai of ninjas vs. samurai! Bad to the bone!
And finally for my last video, a video of horrific crashes, explosions, and disasters! What could be more awesome than that (not counting ninjas and guns)! Enjoy!
A New Look!
As you can see my blog has been given a face lift! My blog's old look was old and boring so I opted for something a little more futuristic and matrix-y. I'd like to thank my precious wife, Angela, for taking the time to set this up for me. Thanks, babe! You're so hot and so smart all at the same time!
Also, I just wanted to post an update to my current job search. I've finished my training with Brian and am currently searching for somewhere to utilize my new computer skills. I went to a conference on Friday in downtown and was able to network a little bit and send out a few resumes. One of the companies that is currently an option is a company that is literally 3 blocks away from where my wife works! I am really praying that will pan out because there would be nothing better than being able to ride to work with my wife, eat lunch with her every day, and then come home with her! That would be a dream come true. Also, my good friend Devin works at this company, too, so it'd be cool to work with a friend. Any prayers on this area will be greatly appreciated. But only prayers to God the Father of Jesus Christ will be accepted. Not prayers to allah, buddah, or any other imaginary diety. If you're praying to allah or something else on my behalf you're wasting your time. They're not even real. Fake. Just fake. Thanks, everyone!
Also, I just wanted to post an update to my current job search. I've finished my training with Brian and am currently searching for somewhere to utilize my new computer skills. I went to a conference on Friday in downtown and was able to network a little bit and send out a few resumes. One of the companies that is currently an option is a company that is literally 3 blocks away from where my wife works! I am really praying that will pan out because there would be nothing better than being able to ride to work with my wife, eat lunch with her every day, and then come home with her! That would be a dream come true. Also, my good friend Devin works at this company, too, so it'd be cool to work with a friend. Any prayers on this area will be greatly appreciated. But only prayers to God the Father of Jesus Christ will be accepted. Not prayers to allah, buddah, or any other imaginary diety. If you're praying to allah or something else on my behalf you're wasting your time. They're not even real. Fake. Just fake. Thanks, everyone!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
New Opportunity
I know its been a while since I blogged but I've been super busy lately. There's been a lot of good things going on lately and a lot of not-so-good things occurring as well. Do you want the good news or the bad news first? Since I can't hear your response I'll just pick for you.
The BAD News:
A couple of weeks ago while Angela and I were watching the Olympics our television shut off. Yes, the high definition television we bought brand new with some of our wedding money. We'd only had the TV since we were married which hasn't been very long, although it's felt like a long time. Just kidding, baby! Every time we tried to turn the TV back on it would just click over and over again. Not good.
Also, yesterday my fridge died. Everything in the freezer was a total loss as was the majority of goods in the fridge. So right now we are using my little mini fridge that's only about 2 1/2 feet high.
Along with all that, work has been really really rough lately. I'm not even supposed to touch a single package and all they have me do each day is load, load, load. They hire me to do a job and run my area and the management refuses to listen to my suggestions or give me the resources. I'm just about done with this crap and they can sit on a tack for all I care!
The GOOD News:
Even though my nice TV died I still have the 30 inch TV from our bedroom even if it's not HD. So we're using that one in the living room and our spare 19" in the bedroom. The 19" has not AV plugs, no TV remote, and only 1 cable hookup. At least it works.
And even though the fridge is toast my really cool parents have a spare fridge at their old house that they were gracious enough to let us use. It's really nice, has double doors, an icemaker on the front, and best of all its FREEEEEEEEEE!!! The only pain in the butt thing about it is that I have to go get it and it's really heavy.
Finally, even though I just about flat out hate my job right now, a new, fun, exciting, better paying job seems to be looming in the not so distant distance. My friend Devin's brother Brian does IT work and has offered to train me in the ways of IT. He helped Devin along with many of my friends get really good jobs so this whole week I've been hanging out with him and he's been training me. I'm really excited about it. It's going to be a really great opportunity and Angela and I are both excited. Thanks Devin and Brian! You guys are the bomb!
So even though it seems like a lot of bad stuff has happened lately, God continues to make a way for us! What an awesome God we have!
The BAD News:
A couple of weeks ago while Angela and I were watching the Olympics our television shut off. Yes, the high definition television we bought brand new with some of our wedding money. We'd only had the TV since we were married which hasn't been very long, although it's felt like a long time. Just kidding, baby! Every time we tried to turn the TV back on it would just click over and over again. Not good.
Also, yesterday my fridge died. Everything in the freezer was a total loss as was the majority of goods in the fridge. So right now we are using my little mini fridge that's only about 2 1/2 feet high.
Along with all that, work has been really really rough lately. I'm not even supposed to touch a single package and all they have me do each day is load, load, load. They hire me to do a job and run my area and the management refuses to listen to my suggestions or give me the resources. I'm just about done with this crap and they can sit on a tack for all I care!
The GOOD News:
Even though my nice TV died I still have the 30 inch TV from our bedroom even if it's not HD. So we're using that one in the living room and our spare 19" in the bedroom. The 19" has not AV plugs, no TV remote, and only 1 cable hookup. At least it works.
And even though the fridge is toast my really cool parents have a spare fridge at their old house that they were gracious enough to let us use. It's really nice, has double doors, an icemaker on the front, and best of all its FREEEEEEEEEE!!! The only pain in the butt thing about it is that I have to go get it and it's really heavy.
Finally, even though I just about flat out hate my job right now, a new, fun, exciting, better paying job seems to be looming in the not so distant distance. My friend Devin's brother Brian does IT work and has offered to train me in the ways of IT. He helped Devin along with many of my friends get really good jobs so this whole week I've been hanging out with him and he's been training me. I'm really excited about it. It's going to be a really great opportunity and Angela and I are both excited. Thanks Devin and Brian! You guys are the bomb!
So even though it seems like a lot of bad stuff has happened lately, God continues to make a way for us! What an awesome God we have!
Monday, August 11, 2008
Get to Know Me!
Here's something my wife did so I decided to follow in her steps and do the same thing. Enjoy!
I am: Angela's really hot husband.
I think: the Jacksonville Jaguars are the best football team in the country!
I know: that I need to spend more time reading God's Word.
I want: be done with school and just work.
I have: really comfortable L.L. Bean slippers on my feet.
I wish: we were more responsible with our money.
I hate: all the dumb people in the world who are so dumb they don't even know it.
I miss: my Papa who died from stomach cancer in Dec. '96.
I fear: for my wife's safety.
I hear: the news on the TV in the living room.
I feel: my head pounding for some reason.
I smell: BBQ chicken cooking in the crock pot!
I crave: Texas Road House steaks.
I search: for a good job so I can take care of my family.
I wonder: what our kids will be like.
I regret: that I don't think everything through before I speak or act.
I love: giving my wife and Baggie kisses!
I ache: after I go to work at UPS.
I care: about taking care of Angela.
I always: watch the Jaguars when they're on TV.
I am not: going to let my kids make the same mistakes I've made.
I believe: in Jesus Christ, the son of God.
I dance: when I'm with my wife and NO ONE ELSE.
I sing: Baby Got Back.
I don’t always: go to class.
I fight: with Angela to take her medicine.
I write: blogs because they make my wife happy.
I win: at Phase 10 way more than Angela does.
I lose: my pens at work alot.
I never: wear make up even if my wife begs me to.
I listen: to Angela when she comes home from work and talks about how much she hates listening to dumb people.
I can usually be found: in bed at 12 a.m.
I am scared: of something bad happening to my family.
I need: to drive slower.
I am happy: that I am married to a woman as hot and sexy as my wife, Angela.
I am: Angela's really hot husband.
I think: the Jacksonville Jaguars are the best football team in the country!
I know: that I need to spend more time reading God's Word.
I want: be done with school and just work.
I have: really comfortable L.L. Bean slippers on my feet.
I wish: we were more responsible with our money.
I hate: all the dumb people in the world who are so dumb they don't even know it.
I miss: my Papa who died from stomach cancer in Dec. '96.
I fear: for my wife's safety.
I hear: the news on the TV in the living room.
I feel: my head pounding for some reason.
I smell: BBQ chicken cooking in the crock pot!
I crave: Texas Road House steaks.
I search: for a good job so I can take care of my family.
I wonder: what our kids will be like.
I regret: that I don't think everything through before I speak or act.
I love: giving my wife and Baggie kisses!
I ache: after I go to work at UPS.
I care: about taking care of Angela.
I always: watch the Jaguars when they're on TV.
I am not: going to let my kids make the same mistakes I've made.
I believe: in Jesus Christ, the son of God.
I dance: when I'm with my wife and NO ONE ELSE.
I sing: Baby Got Back.
I don’t always: go to class.
I fight: with Angela to take her medicine.
I write: blogs because they make my wife happy.
I win: at Phase 10 way more than Angela does.
I lose: my pens at work alot.
I never: wear make up even if my wife begs me to.
I listen: to Angela when she comes home from work and talks about how much she hates listening to dumb people.
I can usually be found: in bed at 12 a.m.
I am scared: of something bad happening to my family.
I need: to drive slower.
I am happy: that I am married to a woman as hot and sexy as my wife, Angela.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Its just around the corner!
Football season!!!!!
I can't wait. The time between the end of the Superbowl and the first NFL preseason game is so boring! The only thing that makes the last 2 months before preseason starts bearable is that 1010XL Sports Radio actually starts talking about the Jacksonville Jaguars on a regular basis (not just when one of them gets busted for drugs, dui, hit and run, etc), Jaguars minicamp and training camp are open to the public as well and the Jacksonville Jaguars website is updated on a regular basis.
We're at that point right now. The first Jaguars preseason game is Aug. 9th and I am barely holding myself together. During football season I eat, drink, and sleep football. I know my wife will agree. She just loves to talk about football with me, my Dad, and my brother! NOT! Anyways, she's getting better about football though. She understands most of the rules, who the players are (and not just Jaguars players. She even despises the Colt and those cheatin' Pats), and she knows what the point of the game is! She has her own Maurice Jones-Drew jersey that she wears with pride, along with her Jaguars ear rings, hair clip, and visor! I'm very proud of her. She's almost as die hard a Jacksonville Jaguars fan as I am!
After August 9th, I will be one happy camper... unless the Jaguars lose that week. In that case, my day will be ruined and everyone should avoid speaking to me until further notice.
I can't wait. The time between the end of the Superbowl and the first NFL preseason game is so boring! The only thing that makes the last 2 months before preseason starts bearable is that 1010XL Sports Radio actually starts talking about the Jacksonville Jaguars on a regular basis (not just when one of them gets busted for drugs, dui, hit and run, etc), Jaguars minicamp and training camp are open to the public as well and the Jacksonville Jaguars website is updated on a regular basis.
We're at that point right now. The first Jaguars preseason game is Aug. 9th and I am barely holding myself together. During football season I eat, drink, and sleep football. I know my wife will agree. She just loves to talk about football with me, my Dad, and my brother! NOT! Anyways, she's getting better about football though. She understands most of the rules, who the players are (and not just Jaguars players. She even despises the Colt and those cheatin' Pats), and she knows what the point of the game is! She has her own Maurice Jones-Drew jersey that she wears with pride, along with her Jaguars ear rings, hair clip, and visor! I'm very proud of her. She's almost as die hard a Jacksonville Jaguars fan as I am!
After August 9th, I will be one happy camper... unless the Jaguars lose that week. In that case, my day will be ruined and everyone should avoid speaking to me until further notice.
Go Jaguars!!!!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Its all fun and games until someone loses an eye....
Then its just fun! Who doesn't love practical jokes (not counting Osama, Stalin, Hitler and Satan)? I know I do! There's nothing more hilarious than the honestly confused, perplexed, astounded, and/or downright terrified expression on an unsuspecting victim's face. With that said, here's some really funny practical jokes that you can play at your place of work and NOT lose your job. Of course if you are willing to lose your job, you can REALLY take the jokes to the next level!
1. Place a paperclip on the office photocopier and make 100 or so copies of it. Then remove the paperclip and load the papers with the image of the paperclip into the paper tray. Your coworkers/ victims will go nuts trying to find the paperclip inside the copier!
2. If you have an office phone system that allows conference calling, you can prank two people at once. Call the first victim’s extension, then very quickly call the second victim and push the conference button. Now both people will think the other person called them and will begin arguing over who called whom!
3. Take an item from the victim’s office (something they use a lot such as a special coffee cup, stapler, pencil cup, etc.). Take a picture of the item and leave it on the victim’s desk (in the same spot where the item was located), along with a “ransom” note.
4. If the victim uses Microsoft Word, go into the victim’s computer and change the auto-correct feature so it misspells common words. Just open Word, choose “AutoCorrect Options” from the Tools menu, and have it replace common words like “the” and “and” with words like "terd" and "anus". The sky is the limit with this one!
5. Take a Post-It note and place it over the eye of the victim’s optical mouse. When the victim tries to use his or her computer, the cursor won’t move. (Note if they have a standard mouse, you can perform the same trick by taping a piece of paper over the ball underneath the mouse.)
Those are just a few I found. I hope you guys who are lucky enough to work in a posh, climate controlled, cushy chaired, office will have some fun with this.
Disclaimer: I, along with Blogspot, am in no way, shape, or form responsible for any consequences and/or punishments you bring on yourself by attempting any of the above listed practical jokes. Please, however, leave a comment clearly depicting any practical jokes attempted!
1. Place a paperclip on the office photocopier and make 100 or so copies of it. Then remove the paperclip and load the papers with the image of the paperclip into the paper tray. Your coworkers/ victims will go nuts trying to find the paperclip inside the copier!
2. If you have an office phone system that allows conference calling, you can prank two people at once. Call the first victim’s extension, then very quickly call the second victim and push the conference button. Now both people will think the other person called them and will begin arguing over who called whom!
3. Take an item from the victim’s office (something they use a lot such as a special coffee cup, stapler, pencil cup, etc.). Take a picture of the item and leave it on the victim’s desk (in the same spot where the item was located), along with a “ransom” note.
4. If the victim uses Microsoft Word, go into the victim’s computer and change the auto-correct feature so it misspells common words. Just open Word, choose “AutoCorrect Options” from the Tools menu, and have it replace common words like “the” and “and” with words like "terd" and "anus". The sky is the limit with this one!
5. Take a Post-It note and place it over the eye of the victim’s optical mouse. When the victim tries to use his or her computer, the cursor won’t move. (Note if they have a standard mouse, you can perform the same trick by taping a piece of paper over the ball underneath the mouse.)
Those are just a few I found. I hope you guys who are lucky enough to work in a posh, climate controlled, cushy chaired, office will have some fun with this.
Disclaimer: I, along with Blogspot, am in no way, shape, or form responsible for any consequences and/or punishments you bring on yourself by attempting any of the above listed practical jokes. Please, however, leave a comment clearly depicting any practical jokes attempted!
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
I love my wife!
I love my wife! But just how much do I love my wife? Hmmm...Lets see!
I love my wife more than...
peanut butter pickles!
greasy bloated road kill!
Adolph Hitler!
stinky litter boxes!
broken computers!
groin "area" injuries!
wannabe ninjas!
paper cuts!
bee stings on my eye lids!
sand in my mouth!
surprise bills!
the New England Patriots!
and ice cream!
This is just a short list of all the things that are not even close to being loved as much as I love my precious bride, Angela! Angela is nothing short of the best thing that has ever happened to me. She is way out of my league and seems oblivious to the fact that she is stunningly gorgeous and highly intelligent. She does such a good job of taking care of me since I am in a constant state of tiredness. She always has good food for me and doesn't complain when we only go see guy movies, if I forget to vacuum for a week, or when I accidentally buy things we can't afford. She is nothing short of the best wife any man could ever dream of! I love you, babe!
PS. Sorry everyone had to read that mushy blog.
I love my wife more than...
peanut butter pickles!
greasy bloated road kill!
Adolph Hitler!
stinky litter boxes!
broken computers!
groin "area" injuries!
wannabe ninjas!
paper cuts!
bee stings on my eye lids!
sand in my mouth!
surprise bills!
the New England Patriots!
and ice cream!
This is just a short list of all the things that are not even close to being loved as much as I love my precious bride, Angela! Angela is nothing short of the best thing that has ever happened to me. She is way out of my league and seems oblivious to the fact that she is stunningly gorgeous and highly intelligent. She does such a good job of taking care of me since I am in a constant state of tiredness. She always has good food for me and doesn't complain when we only go see guy movies, if I forget to vacuum for a week, or when I accidentally buy things we can't afford. She is nothing short of the best wife any man could ever dream of! I love you, babe!
PS. Sorry everyone had to read that mushy blog.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Hoax or No Hoax???
After reading a terrifying story on a friend's blog that tells of a small child being bitten to death by copperhead rattlesnakes in a fast food joint's ball pit, I started investigating other popular internet stories and pictures that people assume are real because they're on the world wide web. After all, people wouldn't post lie on the web, would they? Well it turns out they do. With that said, here's some little tests I found that test your gullibility. After you take the test, post your first score in my comments. No cheating! Here is what I scored:
Level One: 9 out of 10
Level Two: 8 out of 10
Level Three: 6 out of 10
Level Four: 8 out of 10
So here is the test and good luck!
Hoax Text!
All four hoax test links are at the top of the first page.
Level One: 9 out of 10
Level Two: 8 out of 10
Level Three: 6 out of 10
Level Four: 8 out of 10
So here is the test and good luck!
Hoax Text!
All four hoax test links are at the top of the first page.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Its Been a While...
I know its been a ridiculously long time since I posted, but at the nag...I mean encouragement of my wife, here is at least one more post.
Apparently there's this thing called a "meme." Someone tags you for a list of information about you and then you post it on your blog. So my wife tagged me for one of these. In the "meme" I have to post:
1. List your top ten favorite films (in no particular order).
2. If you're tagged, you've got to post & tag 3-5 other people.
3. Give a tag back (some link love) to the one who tagged you in your post
4. Give a hat tip (HT) to Dan.
1)Naming my top ten favorite films will be hard, so I think I'll just give ten films that were freaking awesome.
1. The Matrix
2. Gladiator
3. Saving Private Ryan
4. Braveheart
5. The Last Samurai
6. No Country For Old Men
7. Man on Fire
8. Batman Begins
9. The Departed
10. Shooter
2) I will tag Angela, Dayna, and Stacie because they are the only three people I know who write blogs. If you've already been tagged to do this then instead of listing your top ten movies, you must list your ten favorite movies that your husband also likes to watch.
3) And my tag back love goes to Angela. Check her blog out because its pretty silly just like she is. She's also pretty smokin' hot so go see her blog and a pic or 2 of her if for nothing else.
4) HT to Dan, whoever you are.
There. I'm done with my blog for quarter. Peace.
Apparently there's this thing called a "meme." Someone tags you for a list of information about you and then you post it on your blog. So my wife tagged me for one of these. In the "meme" I have to post:
1. List your top ten favorite films (in no particular order).
2. If you're tagged, you've got to post & tag 3-5 other people.
3. Give a tag back (some link love) to the one who tagged you in your post
4. Give a hat tip (HT) to Dan.
1)Naming my top ten favorite films will be hard, so I think I'll just give ten films that were freaking awesome.
1. The Matrix
2. Gladiator
3. Saving Private Ryan
4. Braveheart
5. The Last Samurai
6. No Country For Old Men
7. Man on Fire
8. Batman Begins
9. The Departed
10. Shooter
2) I will tag Angela, Dayna, and Stacie because they are the only three people I know who write blogs. If you've already been tagged to do this then instead of listing your top ten movies, you must list your ten favorite movies that your husband also likes to watch.
3) And my tag back love goes to Angela. Check her blog out because its pretty silly just like she is. She's also pretty smokin' hot so go see her blog and a pic or 2 of her if for nothing else.
4) HT to Dan, whoever you are.
There. I'm done with my blog for quarter. Peace.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
100 Things I Thank God For!
In light of my sister-in-law's recent blog about 100 things she is thankful for, I decided to write up my own list in similar fashion. So here it goes.
1. My salvation (without it, whats the point?)
2. My stunningly beautiful wife (I am way out of my league!)
3. Christian parents who saw fit to raise me in church and point me towards God
4. The in-laws who raised my wife to be the Godly woman that she is
5. My little bro
6. My brother and sister in-law (you guys are alright, I guess...)
7. First Baptist Church of Jacksonville (shining the light in a dark world)
8. Dr. Brunson laying down the Word (its a dirty job but someones gotta do it)
9. Christian friends who encourage and strengthen me with their love for Christ
10. The freedom this country offers (even the freedom to be completely stupid. See: "insert left wing nut job here")
11. The guys and gals in the armed forces so I can sleep at night not wondering if I'll wake up in a pile of rubble and body parts ("People sleep peaceably in their beds at night because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." - George Orwell)
12. President Bush (sometimes doing the right thing is unpopular and it takes a real man to make those kind of decisions)
13. Baggie! (our little, black kitty is so cute I just wanna squish her and rub her and pet her and cuddle her and kiss her and....)
14. The opportunity to go to school
15. My job (even though sometimes I hate it)
16. The Greatest Generation (Thank you with all my heart to the men and women who paid in blood to defeat evil)
17. The Jacksonville Jaguars!!!! Go Jaguars! Whooooooooo!
18. The internet (not counting all the bad stuff out there)
19. Sirloin Steak with
20. Loaded Bake Potato and a
21. Loaded Sweet Potato (A baked sweet potato with marshmallows and cinnamon butter is awesome!)
22. Being an American
23. my mental health (you'd understand if you'd talk to my dad for 2 min...J/K Dad, I love you!)
24. the money God has given us (sorry when I squander it, Lord!)
25. Honda (best vehicles on the planet)
26. video games (what could be better than tons of fun in the comfort of your home while sitting on the couch and enjoying a soda?)
27. My wife's sense of humor,
28. smile,
29. gorgeous, brown (I mean blue!) eyes,
30. and her amazingly, sexy body (I know she'll be embarrassed but I can't NOT put it on here)
31. And on that note: Sex. (I'd be lying to myself and my wife if this wasn't on here. She'd think an alien wrote this blog if I left it out. Sorry, guys.)
32. But most of all my wife's love (She is good to me!)
33. Police (even if you pull me over when I'm not speeding)
34. Fire Dept.
35. EMT's
36. movies (Yay for ninjas, pirates, explosions, and shoot-outs)
37. beef supreme gorditas
38. Being able to pay the bills.
39. Safe, reliable vehicles for my wife and myself to drive
40. my physical health
41. hot showers (not the kind near boiling temperatures like my wife enjoys)
42. The Right to Bear Arms (I dare you to break into my house.)
43. Spaghetti (even though my wife is tired of it)
44. God allowing me to make mistakes (if I were God I'd have been dead a long time ago) and
45. God's forgiveness (even though I am habitually stupid)
46. Naps with my
47. soft pillow and
48. water bed that are just heavenly!
49. hot wings (You know they're good when your sweat is spicy!)
50. My wife's sexy body
51. My sight! (What good would a hot wife be without it?)
52. Clint Eastwood movies (Do you feel lucky, punk? Well? Do ya?)
53. Driving alone on a dark road at night with myself and the Lord and no one else for miles
54. Pizza (thank you Ninja Turtles)
55. Creating art
56. Football season! (NFL only, college is a joke until they get a playoff system)
57. the computer game Age of Empires (1, 2, and 3)
58. pulled pork at Mojo's BBQ
59. music
60.The death of Jesus and
61. the resurrection of Jesus (Just so a bunch of losers who may or may not love him would simply have a chance at life! Astounding!)
62. Cookies and
63. hugs (you thought I was going to say milk, didn't you?)
64. milk
65. Quarters (its always so exciting to find one in my car!)
66. Laughing
67. the time spent with my Papa (best man who ever lived)
68. My concealed weapon permit (threaten my wife's safety and see if you end up anywhere other than ICU or the morgue)
69. jeans (they're so comfy!)
70. The show Cops (so thats what happens if you run from, fight with, and lie to the police!)
71. An ice, cold Coke on a hot day
72. my Dad coaching me in little league sports (thanks Dad! You taught me so much!)
73. ice cream with
74. sprinkles (the kind that is really just colored sugar)
75. a fast metabolism (with out I'd weigh 842.2 lbs by now)
76. being able to tell time on an analog clock
77. My big, comfy couch
78. A wife who knows how to cook! (Required in the south.)
79. Zombies not being real (or are they?)
80. Tom Clancy novels
81. Batman
82. Warm, sunny days spending time at
83. swimming pools (the fun of the beach minus the sandy feeling in your butt crack)
84. The way my wife smells so dang, good! (I'm so glad she showers)
85. Being able to help people in need
86. Being literate
87. Living in the south (the weather, the water, and the women, er... just my wife now!)
88. 1010XL Sports Talk Radio
89. my new Wii (so much fun but beware muscle pulls)
90. tennis shoes
91. Dr. Pepper
92. real Doctors
93. the fact that no more new episodes of Friends will ever be filmed
94. My wife's smokin' hot body (did I say that one already?)
95. the rain
96. The Kay's (great Sunday school teachers!)
97. rollie pollies (they're so cool!)
98. The day our loud next door neighbor moved
99. My computer (without it bills would never get paid on time)
100. The after taste root beer leaves in your mouth! Yum!
So there ya have it, folks. 100 things that I am truly thankful for. I have so much to be thankful for that even when life stinks I should never cease to praise and thank God for all that he has blessed me with!
1. My salvation (without it, whats the point?)
2. My stunningly beautiful wife (I am way out of my league!)
3. Christian parents who saw fit to raise me in church and point me towards God
4. The in-laws who raised my wife to be the Godly woman that she is
5. My little bro
6. My brother and sister in-law (you guys are alright, I guess...)
7. First Baptist Church of Jacksonville (shining the light in a dark world)
8. Dr. Brunson laying down the Word (its a dirty job but someones gotta do it)
9. Christian friends who encourage and strengthen me with their love for Christ
10. The freedom this country offers (even the freedom to be completely stupid. See: "insert left wing nut job here")
11. The guys and gals in the armed forces so I can sleep at night not wondering if I'll wake up in a pile of rubble and body parts ("People sleep peaceably in their beds at night because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." - George Orwell)
12. President Bush (sometimes doing the right thing is unpopular and it takes a real man to make those kind of decisions)
13. Baggie! (our little, black kitty is so cute I just wanna squish her and rub her and pet her and cuddle her and kiss her and....)
14. The opportunity to go to school
15. My job (even though sometimes I hate it)
16. The Greatest Generation (Thank you with all my heart to the men and women who paid in blood to defeat evil)
17. The Jacksonville Jaguars!!!! Go Jaguars! Whooooooooo!
18. The internet (not counting all the bad stuff out there)
19. Sirloin Steak with
20. Loaded Bake Potato and a
21. Loaded Sweet Potato (A baked sweet potato with marshmallows and cinnamon butter is awesome!)
22. Being an American
23. my mental health (you'd understand if you'd talk to my dad for 2 min...J/K Dad, I love you!)
24. the money God has given us (sorry when I squander it, Lord!)
25. Honda (best vehicles on the planet)
26. video games (what could be better than tons of fun in the comfort of your home while sitting on the couch and enjoying a soda?)
27. My wife's sense of humor,
28. smile,
29. gorgeous, brown (I mean blue!) eyes,
30. and her amazingly, sexy body (I know she'll be embarrassed but I can't NOT put it on here)
31. And on that note: Sex. (I'd be lying to myself and my wife if this wasn't on here. She'd think an alien wrote this blog if I left it out. Sorry, guys.)
32. But most of all my wife's love (She is good to me!)
33. Police (even if you pull me over when I'm not speeding)
34. Fire Dept.
35. EMT's
36. movies (Yay for ninjas, pirates, explosions, and shoot-outs)
37. beef supreme gorditas
38. Being able to pay the bills.
39. Safe, reliable vehicles for my wife and myself to drive
40. my physical health
41. hot showers (not the kind near boiling temperatures like my wife enjoys)
42. The Right to Bear Arms (I dare you to break into my house.)
43. Spaghetti (even though my wife is tired of it)
44. God allowing me to make mistakes (if I were God I'd have been dead a long time ago) and
45. God's forgiveness (even though I am habitually stupid)
46. Naps with my
47. soft pillow and
48. water bed that are just heavenly!
49. hot wings (You know they're good when your sweat is spicy!)
50. My wife's sexy body
51. My sight! (What good would a hot wife be without it?)
52. Clint Eastwood movies (Do you feel lucky, punk? Well? Do ya?)
53. Driving alone on a dark road at night with myself and the Lord and no one else for miles
54. Pizza (thank you Ninja Turtles)
55. Creating art
56. Football season! (NFL only, college is a joke until they get a playoff system)
57. the computer game Age of Empires (1, 2, and 3)
58. pulled pork at Mojo's BBQ
59. music
60.The death of Jesus and
61. the resurrection of Jesus (Just so a bunch of losers who may or may not love him would simply have a chance at life! Astounding!)
62. Cookies and
63. hugs (you thought I was going to say milk, didn't you?)
64. milk
65. Quarters (its always so exciting to find one in my car!)
66. Laughing
67. the time spent with my Papa (best man who ever lived)
68. My concealed weapon permit (threaten my wife's safety and see if you end up anywhere other than ICU or the morgue)
69. jeans (they're so comfy!)
70. The show Cops (so thats what happens if you run from, fight with, and lie to the police!)
71. An ice, cold Coke on a hot day
72. my Dad coaching me in little league sports (thanks Dad! You taught me so much!)
73. ice cream with
74. sprinkles (the kind that is really just colored sugar)
75. a fast metabolism (with out I'd weigh 842.2 lbs by now)
76. being able to tell time on an analog clock
77. My big, comfy couch
78. A wife who knows how to cook! (Required in the south.)
79. Zombies not being real (or are they?)
80. Tom Clancy novels
81. Batman
82. Warm, sunny days spending time at
83. swimming pools (the fun of the beach minus the sandy feeling in your butt crack)
84. The way my wife smells so dang, good! (I'm so glad she showers)
85. Being able to help people in need
86. Being literate
87. Living in the south (the weather, the water, and the women, er... just my wife now!)
88. 1010XL Sports Talk Radio
89. my new Wii (so much fun but beware muscle pulls)
90. tennis shoes
91. Dr. Pepper
92. real Doctors
93. the fact that no more new episodes of Friends will ever be filmed
94. My wife's smokin' hot body (did I say that one already?)
95. the rain
96. The Kay's (great Sunday school teachers!)
97. rollie pollies (they're so cool!)
98. The day our loud next door neighbor moved
99. My computer (without it bills would never get paid on time)
100. The after taste root beer leaves in your mouth! Yum!
So there ya have it, folks. 100 things that I am truly thankful for. I have so much to be thankful for that even when life stinks I should never cease to praise and thank God for all that he has blessed me with!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Beware the Wii!!!
So I got a Wii.The Wii should come with a warning of some type stating that physical harm, pain, and/or detriment is probable. Since owning the Wii, my wife has pulled a muscle in her arm, her back and side are sore, my arm is numb, I pulled my left butt cheek, and my shoulder is sore. Who would have ever thought video games could be so hazardous? Man, the Wii is a blast, but Geez! I haven't been this beat up since I played football. I think for the next few days I'll stick to the good ole fashioned video games where you just sit on the couch, eat some potato chips, and drink a coke.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Because my wife said so.
Well my wife asked me to do this so here it is. I love you, babe!
Tag FOUR!
Four Jobs I’ve Had:
1. Domino's Pizza (I ate a whole pizza every day of my life for 2 years straight! Healthy!)
2. Sweet Tomatoes (It last for a whole 3 1/2 weeks)
3. Brick Oven Italian Restaurant (I was fired for refusing to serve a customer bad shrimp. So sue me.)
4. UPS (Under Paid Slaves)
Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over:
1. Gladiator (So freakin' awesome)
2. The Matrix (Need I say more?)
3. Brave Heart (Man in love kills anyone/everyone who had anything to do with hurting his woman. Such an awesome movie!)
4. The Last Samurai (Samurais + Ninjas = Insanely Awesome ^ 1000000000000000000)
Four TV Shows I Love to Watch:
1. LOST
2. The Office ("5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Do it. Do it now. Give me control.")
3. Cops (What could be more fun than watching some punks get maced and beat down?)
4. Mythbusters (Don't get to watch this one very often, but man it's great!)
Four Places I’ve Been on Vacation:
1. Washington DC (Don't stay out after dark)
2. Hotlanta, GA (Don't stay out after dark)
3. Grand Cayman & Kozumel (When the sun went down, we went to town!)
4. Key West (Mopeds and Key Lime Pie! Yum!)
Four Favorite Dishes:
1. Pizza (Duh.)
2. Steak, loaded sweet potato and loaded sweet potato (Texas Roadhouse)
3. Ranch chicken, mashed potatoes, and creamed corn (ala Angela)
4. Pulled Pork (at Mojos BBQ!)
Four Websites I Visit Daily:
1. Jaguars.com (Go Jags!)
2. www.comcast.com (email)
3. Honda-Tech.com (when you just gotta know how to completely take your Honda apart and put it back together)
4. Vystar.com (payin' bills)
Four Places I’d Rather Be:
1. In bed with Angela
2. On the couch with my xbox360 and a Dr. Thunder (thats rip-off Dr. Pepper)
3. Hangin' out with friends
4. At church (good ole' no-nonsense, not-watered-down preachin' of the Word!)
Four Others I’d Like to Tag:
Since I don't know anyone whoever wants to do this can.
There ya' go, honey! I love you!
Tag FOUR!
Four Jobs I’ve Had:
1. Domino's Pizza (I ate a whole pizza every day of my life for 2 years straight! Healthy!)
2. Sweet Tomatoes (It last for a whole 3 1/2 weeks)
3. Brick Oven Italian Restaurant (I was fired for refusing to serve a customer bad shrimp. So sue me.)
4. UPS (Under Paid Slaves)
Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over:
1. Gladiator (So freakin' awesome)
2. The Matrix (Need I say more?)
3. Brave Heart (Man in love kills anyone/everyone who had anything to do with hurting his woman. Such an awesome movie!)
4. The Last Samurai (Samurais + Ninjas = Insanely Awesome ^ 1000000000000000000)
Four TV Shows I Love to Watch:
1. LOST
2. The Office ("5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Do it. Do it now. Give me control.")
3. Cops (What could be more fun than watching some punks get maced and beat down?)
4. Mythbusters (Don't get to watch this one very often, but man it's great!)
Four Places I’ve Been on Vacation:
1. Washington DC (Don't stay out after dark)
2. Hotlanta, GA (Don't stay out after dark)
3. Grand Cayman & Kozumel (When the sun went down, we went to town!)
4. Key West (Mopeds and Key Lime Pie! Yum!)
Four Favorite Dishes:
1. Pizza (Duh.)
2. Steak, loaded sweet potato and loaded sweet potato (Texas Roadhouse)
3. Ranch chicken, mashed potatoes, and creamed corn (ala Angela)
4. Pulled Pork (at Mojos BBQ!)
Four Websites I Visit Daily:
1. Jaguars.com (Go Jags!)
2. www.comcast.com (email)
3. Honda-Tech.com (when you just gotta know how to completely take your Honda apart and put it back together)
4. Vystar.com (payin' bills)
Four Places I’d Rather Be:
1. In bed with Angela
2. On the couch with my xbox360 and a Dr. Thunder (thats rip-off Dr. Pepper)
3. Hangin' out with friends
4. At church (good ole' no-nonsense, not-watered-down preachin' of the Word!)
Four Others I’d Like to Tag:
Since I don't know anyone whoever wants to do this can.
There ya' go, honey! I love you!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Haiku Fiend
After being inspired by my lovely wife to write a haiku, I decided to write one about school since finals week is coming up. Enjoy!
Semesters over.
Only one more whole year left.
Man does school suck bad.
There. I hope that brought a tear to your eye as your heart moves with emotion. Thank you.
Semesters over.
Only one more whole year left.
Man does school suck bad.
There. I hope that brought a tear to your eye as your heart moves with emotion. Thank you.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Man Up!
I'm tired of men who aren't manly. I'm tired of men who are "metrosexual" or whatever in the world that means. Men should be leaders, like God has called them to be, and should stand up for what is right, just, and true. They should be honest and God-fearing and should enjoy things like sports, guns, movies with explosions and/or ninjas, and meat (rare if possible). Also, in no way, shape, or form does the level of hotness of the woman at your side determine if you are a Man's Man. So with that said, I have compiled a list of ways to help you identify men who do not fit the definition of manly men!
1. Manly men only drink tap water. Ordering expensive bottled water at a restauraunt automatically disqualifies you from holding the title of "Manly Man."
2. Manly men do not know what conditioner is.
3. Under NO circumstances should a Manly Man wear make up.
4. A Manly Man will gladly kill to protect his families and/or those he loves.
5. A Manly Man does not use wax on any part of his body (also known as "Manscaping").
6. A Manly Man does not enjoy sports where serious bodily injury is not possible and/or likely.
7. A Manly Man can repair his own vehicle.
8. A Manly Man has no qualms about farting and/or burping in public.
9. A Manly Man always cleans his plate.
10. Meat: the redder, the better.
Anyways, those are just a few I came up with. With that said, the following are a list of men (in no particular order) who I, as a Man's Man, have deemed "Non Manly Men."
1. Matthew Perry
2. Richard Gere
3. Justin Timberlake
4. David Schwimmer
5. Clay Aiken
6. Al Gore
7. Tom Cruise
8. John Kerry
9. Owen Wilson
10. Jude Law
11. Topher Grace
12. Ashton Kutcher
13. Hugh Grant
14. David Spade
15. Matthew McConaughey
16. Johnny Depp
17. Pierce Brosnan
18. Ryan Seacrest
19. Simon Cowell
20. Orlando Bloom
21. John Travolta
It only makes sense to now identify some men who truly are manly men!
1. Clint Eastwood
2. Douglas MacArthur
3. Russell Crowe
4. Arnold Schwarzenegger
5. Ronald Reagan
6. Gregory Peck
7. Denzel Washington
8. Harrison Ford
9. Sean Connery
10. Mel Gibson
11. George S. Patton
12. John Wayne
13. George Washington
14. Steve McQueen
15. Paul Newman
16. Abraham Lincoln
17. Batman
18. Will Smith
19. Bruce Willis
20. Samuel L. Jackson
There. I'm glad I finally got that out in the open for the public to see. I feel like this has probably been my most beneficial-to-the-world posting yet, so I hope you enjoyed it.
1. Manly men only drink tap water. Ordering expensive bottled water at a restauraunt automatically disqualifies you from holding the title of "Manly Man."
2. Manly men do not know what conditioner is.
3. Under NO circumstances should a Manly Man wear make up.
4. A Manly Man will gladly kill to protect his families and/or those he loves.
5. A Manly Man does not use wax on any part of his body (also known as "Manscaping").
6. A Manly Man does not enjoy sports where serious bodily injury is not possible and/or likely.
7. A Manly Man can repair his own vehicle.
8. A Manly Man has no qualms about farting and/or burping in public.
9. A Manly Man always cleans his plate.
10. Meat: the redder, the better.
Anyways, those are just a few I came up with. With that said, the following are a list of men (in no particular order) who I, as a Man's Man, have deemed "Non Manly Men."
1. Matthew Perry
2. Richard Gere
3. Justin Timberlake
4. David Schwimmer
5. Clay Aiken
6. Al Gore
7. Tom Cruise
8. John Kerry
9. Owen Wilson
10. Jude Law
11. Topher Grace
12. Ashton Kutcher
13. Hugh Grant
14. David Spade
15. Matthew McConaughey
16. Johnny Depp
17. Pierce Brosnan
18. Ryan Seacrest
19. Simon Cowell
20. Orlando Bloom
21. John Travolta
It only makes sense to now identify some men who truly are manly men!
1. Clint Eastwood
2. Douglas MacArthur
3. Russell Crowe
4. Arnold Schwarzenegger
5. Ronald Reagan
6. Gregory Peck
7. Denzel Washington
8. Harrison Ford
9. Sean Connery
10. Mel Gibson
11. George S. Patton
12. John Wayne
13. George Washington
14. Steve McQueen
15. Paul Newman
16. Abraham Lincoln
17. Batman
18. Will Smith
19. Bruce Willis
20. Samuel L. Jackson
There. I'm glad I finally got that out in the open for the public to see. I feel like this has probably been my most beneficial-to-the-world posting yet, so I hope you enjoyed it.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Good Times!
I remember the first time I held my wife's hand! What an amazing night it was. I think it may have been our second or third date and I remember that I could already tell that I was really going to like this girl. She was smart, funny, witty, and had a killer body! She was exactly everything I was looking for in a girl. So anyways, there we were, playing putt putt at the local mini golf hot spot. We were on the last hole and my later-to-be-wife was beating me and there was no chance of me coming back. One way or another we ended up agreeing that if I could manage a hole-in-one on the last hole that I would be declared the victor and be the champion of putt putt. Well waddayaknow I made a hole in one! I was the champion! My date reluctantly conceded defeat and we started to make our way back to the car. I'd been dying to hold her hand, touch her elbow, rub her back, anything the whole night! So as we exited the mini golf course I gently slipped my hand into hers, softly grasping her beautiful fingers. It was very exciting and I'll never forget the feelings of anticipation, anxiety, butterflies, and what I later discovered to be love I felt that night. Winning in putt putt was nothing compared to being close to my beautiful, blue-eyed girl. But what I remember even more than that was the hot and steamy make out session that followed in my car! I just couldn't keep her off me! She was like a wild animal! Okay, that last part I made up but a guy can dream, can't he?
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Priority Number One
Are you a good person? Sure, you may say. You don't murder, you don't rape, you're honest most of the time. Thats probably good enough to get you into Heaven after you die. After all, Hell is only for the really bad people and you're not really bad, right? Or is that wrong?
But have you ever told a lie? Have you ever stolen anything, even as a child? Have you ever hurt someone or even thought about hurting someone? Have you ever said a bad word? If you answered yes to any of those questions, you are guilty of sin according to God's law given to humanity in the Bible. Lying, stealing, hurting someone, etc. are all sins. In Romans 6:23 the Bible says that the wages of sin is death. It does not say that wages for sinning a lot is death. It says sin, period. So any sin you commit is payable by death. So according to God's law and word, the Holy Bible, the only payment option you have for any and all sins you have committed is death. There's just no way around it.
God, however, made a way for us sinners to spend eternity in Heaven at his side. God sent his perfect and only son, Jesus Christ, to pay for our sins with his death. When God said that the wages of sin is death, Jesus stepped into our place and essentially said, "I'll accept those wages." God volunteered Jesus to die, paying for all the sins we have committed and will ever commit. The price has been paid. Jesus bought you a one way ticket to Heaven. All you have to do is accept it. It really is that easy. Don't try to rationalize it, analyze it, or break it down. The love Jesus has for us unfathomable. Just accept Jesus Christ as your Savior today and let Him sort out the rest.
But have you ever told a lie? Have you ever stolen anything, even as a child? Have you ever hurt someone or even thought about hurting someone? Have you ever said a bad word? If you answered yes to any of those questions, you are guilty of sin according to God's law given to humanity in the Bible. Lying, stealing, hurting someone, etc. are all sins. In Romans 6:23 the Bible says that the wages of sin is death. It does not say that wages for sinning a lot is death. It says sin, period. So any sin you commit is payable by death. So according to God's law and word, the Holy Bible, the only payment option you have for any and all sins you have committed is death. There's just no way around it.
God, however, made a way for us sinners to spend eternity in Heaven at his side. God sent his perfect and only son, Jesus Christ, to pay for our sins with his death. When God said that the wages of sin is death, Jesus stepped into our place and essentially said, "I'll accept those wages." God volunteered Jesus to die, paying for all the sins we have committed and will ever commit. The price has been paid. Jesus bought you a one way ticket to Heaven. All you have to do is accept it. It really is that easy. Don't try to rationalize it, analyze it, or break it down. The love Jesus has for us unfathomable. Just accept Jesus Christ as your Savior today and let Him sort out the rest.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Thought for the Day
The last few days I've been thinking a lot. This usually gets me in trouble, but against my better judgment I kept it up. I started thinking about sin and why I continue to fail to meet God's standard set before the world in His perfect son, Jesus. Thats when I realized that deep in the recess of every heart lies an unspeakable evil. In the heart of each man, woman, and child lies the same evil that drives thieves to steal, robbers to rob, rapists to rape, and killers to kill. The sin in your hearts that causes you to curse when someone cuts you off in traffic or lie to cover your tail is the same exact sin, the same exact evil, that convinced Hitler to murder millions of Jews and Bundy to brutally slay dozens of young girls. We are born with this evil monster inside our hearts. This blood thirsty beast causes us to be incapable of any genuine love. Left to ourselves, we have proven that we don't need anyone's help to make this world a more terrible place than it already is.
But there is a way, one way, to tame the monster that resides within us. His name is Jesus Christ. You see, God is perfect and cannot allow our evil souls to enter His presence without us accepting Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. When Jesus died on the cross 2000 years ago, He shed his blood, bridging the gap between sinful humanity and the perfect, almighty God. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart the God raised him from the dead 3 days after his execution you will be saved! By doing this you accept the Lord as your Savior. Because of the death of Jesus, we no longer have to pay for our sins with our death. Jesus paid it for us!
Every time I think about the penalty I deserve to pay and the fact that I don't have to pay that penalty because Christ already paid it blows me away. Jesus died for you and me even though we're the ones who put him on the cross. We're the ones who beat him mercilessly, spit in his face, pressed the crown of thorns onto his brow, called him names, and mocked him even as he died. Think about that. Don't you understand the kind of death YOU deserve? You deserve to have your flesh split open, your blood flow like a fountain, and to die the same way Jesus did.
You have two choices: 1) Pay the penalty yourself with an eternity in Hell, or 2) Accept the gift of the death and resurrection of Jesus and allow him to pay the penalty for you. You decide.
But there is a way, one way, to tame the monster that resides within us. His name is Jesus Christ. You see, God is perfect and cannot allow our evil souls to enter His presence without us accepting Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. When Jesus died on the cross 2000 years ago, He shed his blood, bridging the gap between sinful humanity and the perfect, almighty God. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart the God raised him from the dead 3 days after his execution you will be saved! By doing this you accept the Lord as your Savior. Because of the death of Jesus, we no longer have to pay for our sins with our death. Jesus paid it for us!
Every time I think about the penalty I deserve to pay and the fact that I don't have to pay that penalty because Christ already paid it blows me away. Jesus died for you and me even though we're the ones who put him on the cross. We're the ones who beat him mercilessly, spit in his face, pressed the crown of thorns onto his brow, called him names, and mocked him even as he died. Think about that. Don't you understand the kind of death YOU deserve? You deserve to have your flesh split open, your blood flow like a fountain, and to die the same way Jesus did.
You have two choices: 1) Pay the penalty yourself with an eternity in Hell, or 2) Accept the gift of the death and resurrection of Jesus and allow him to pay the penalty for you. You decide.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Number 2 (go ahead, laugh)
So this is the second of hopefully many installments of the Thought Division. As of this moment I estimate that at least 3 people have visited this page. Yes, that number 3 does include myself and my wife (who is somewhat obligated to visit this page) but that point is moot.
As I was sitting here trying to come up with an idea that was more than just amusing to myself, I thought, "Why don't I just rant?" Okay, so this is probably only amusing to myself, but its my second post, what more do you want from me?
You know what really knots my knickers? People who think society owes them something. Just because someone the same color as me did something to someone the same color as you over 200 years ago does not mean that I owe you respect, special privileges, or a high five . Anything you want in life has to be earned. You have to get out there, roll up your sleeves, and get dirty before the chips start to fall your way. It may take years, but if you work your hardest you can make a better life for yourself.
Thats what makes this country great: Nobodies with nothing can become somebodies with everything. If you are ignorant and stupid enough to want society or the government to give you everything you need or want, be prepared to live a life without freedom. The bottom line is that you need to man-up and make things happen for yourself. Until you do, get comfy waiting for that welfare check in the mail while trying to vote into office the person who promises to give to you what those rich up-tights stole from the "less fortunate."
There, I feel better now. See you next time.
As I was sitting here trying to come up with an idea that was more than just amusing to myself, I thought, "Why don't I just rant?" Okay, so this is probably only amusing to myself, but its my second post, what more do you want from me?
You know what really knots my knickers? People who think society owes them something. Just because someone the same color as me did something to someone the same color as you over 200 years ago does not mean that I owe you respect, special privileges, or a high five . Anything you want in life has to be earned. You have to get out there, roll up your sleeves, and get dirty before the chips start to fall your way. It may take years, but if you work your hardest you can make a better life for yourself.
Thats what makes this country great: Nobodies with nothing can become somebodies with everything. If you are ignorant and stupid enough to want society or the government to give you everything you need or want, be prepared to live a life without freedom. The bottom line is that you need to man-up and make things happen for yourself. Until you do, get comfy waiting for that welfare check in the mail while trying to vote into office the person who promises to give to you what those rich up-tights stole from the "less fortunate."
There, I feel better now. See you next time.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
My first post
Well here it is, my first post on my first blog ever. This will probably suck way more than anyone thought it possibly could, but in concept it sounds clever and exciting. I guess I'll see how it goes.
In retrospect, I think the title makes this thing sound more thought provoking and in-depth than it will turn out to be, but what can you do? Anyways, the purpose of this thing is for me to write some things down. Amazing, huh?
But first I'll just go ahead and warn anyone reading this that I am rather biased individual who speaks his mind. With that said, all liberals, tree-huggers, evolutionists, pansies, homosexuals, Muslims, and any other left-wingers I forgot click the little arrow pointing to the left at the top of your web browser now. Is there anyone left? Good. Now for the rest of you who have their head screwed on straight, I hope you enjoy my little blog.
~Dustin
In retrospect, I think the title makes this thing sound more thought provoking and in-depth than it will turn out to be, but what can you do? Anyways, the purpose of this thing is for me to write some things down. Amazing, huh?
But first I'll just go ahead and warn anyone reading this that I am rather biased individual who speaks his mind. With that said, all liberals, tree-huggers, evolutionists, pansies, homosexuals, Muslims, and any other left-wingers I forgot click the little arrow pointing to the left at the top of your web browser now. Is there anyone left? Good. Now for the rest of you who have their head screwed on straight, I hope you enjoy my little blog.
~Dustin
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
